Are there days where being a parent just leaves you feeling overwhelmed?

I'm not a parent, but I am an Extremely Involved Aunty which makes me a bit of a second mum, and I have known many parents closely over the years and intimately watched my family members' experiences of parenting.... and YES - it is important to realize that this is completely normal. Parenting is pretty much the hardest and most demanding job in the world. There seem to be a few people who are just "incredibly natural" parents, who find the challenges of parenting just happen to match their strengths really well; or who get lucky and seem to just have kids that are less demanding than others... It's a fact, different kids truly have extremely different "challenge levels" between them.

Ever seen those mums whose first baby just goes to sleep when you put it in the bed, just eats what's in front of it, and just gurgles happily with the same toys and activities and interactions that it had half an hour ago?... and then the mum says, "This is easy! I'm ready for the next one. " And POW!

Fast forward to one year on, and she's saying, "OOOH BOY, my first was such an easy kid. " At this point the mum in question will generally look at least five years older even though only a year has passed; as well as very tired most of the time. :) For all ordinary humans, parenting is universally known to be an pretty difficult and overwhelming task, and some days you manage and get through fairly comfortably.... and others..... Not.

I have not met a parent in my life who does not admit that they have been beside themselves at times with the challenges of parenting. I was amazed and amused to watch an episode of Oprah once, which was basically an entire episode of "Come clean - you are NOT a perfect parent, you aren't always completely proud of your performance, you aren't always on top of it, you don't always know what you're doing, and sometimes you really are drowning/ struggling/ not making it. " In many cases the mothers were saying something more like "MOST of the time I am not really on top of it/drowning/struggling/not really making it."

These were intelligent, well adjusted women putting their best into their parenting. I watched dozens of women experiencing what they called the "relief of telling the truth about their experience of motherhood". There seemed to be a bit of an unspoken taboo about the fact that MOTHERHOOD IS VERY VERY HARD AND NOT ALWAYS VERY ENJOYABLE AND AT TIMES PRETTY DARNED UNPLEASANT/SOULCRUSHING.

Heh heh heh. I'm not sure, maybe we Australians are a bit more "let it all hang out".... over here this description of motherhood is known as a fact, and discussed/joked about/complained about very openly. Oprah got thousands of emails and letters expressing things like shame and embarrassment of women who felt that if they admitted their failings or struggles as mothers, they would be judged negatively or seen to be not good at it or something.So remember this on those hard days... good on you for creating some discussion about it, I'm sure there are plenty of women who didn't see that Oprah episode, who are doing their very best but still feeling incompetent, who are just waiting for someone else to admit that they sometimes feel this way.

I'm a parent but my son is now 26 years old so you might say that I pleasantly have forgotten almost all those difficult times. But there were a few...From about when my son was born until, lets see, maybe 3 years ago...yes I felt overwhelmed. He was colicky when he was a baby, he was hard to discipline, he was very smart but decided that he didn't want to work at school, he took up one of his father's bad habits of lying.. OMG As he got older, he didn't want to work, got fired a couple of times, didn't want to look for a job, yet wanted to buy everything he couldn't afford and then needed money all the time.It was a long childhood until he finally moved out of my home (and into his fathers home) about three years ago.

It was very difficult and there were many times that I was drained and disturbed, but we got through it. They never said it would be easy.Lol.

I'd say from my first gremlin it's the newborn state that gets me the most (I'm confirming that with round 2 now) They are so dependent at that age.. before the first month I can't even pump a breast bottle and give him to dad. Half the time I get pulled out of the shower because he wakes up. For me the loss of freedom and boob tether to the child is extremely overwhelming as I'm a very independent person who truly needs alone time.

Course with all the benefits of breast feeding I would never place my own needs and wants over my childs healthy either, so like round one in round two I'm just.. dealing with it and try to remember it gets easier the older they get. After that I don't have much trouble.. I really adore having kids, they teach me so much and bring me more joy than stress each day. My carpet now affectionately named placemat probably doesn't agree.

Lol

Yes, ther are times as they get older you have to live their moments as if it's the end of the world and be supportive. There are times when they get older that there is at times disappointments. But in the end they all grow up and you set them free.

Giving the first daughter away was one of those overwhelming moments. You look back for the simple times when they were young and their needs simple.

I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.