Are you smarter than your spouse/gf/bf or partner?

I'm a widow, we were married for 9 years, together for 12. My fiance is curious about him. He has seen pictures and hears my daughter talk about him.

Interestingly enough, my fiance is a lot like my husband. In a lot of ways....physically, behaviorly, his mannerisms, etc. If you look at a picture of my fiance and my husband side-by-side, they look like brothers. It's creepy in a way.

Sometimes I wonder if that's why I'm with him, because they're so much alike. Guess that's just another question for my therapist.

My husbands first wife died. I generally have no interest in pasts. I didn't care one way or another whether he shared or didn't share that part of his life with me.

However, since she was such a big part of his life, I wanted him to know that should he choose to discuss her, or any events associated with her, their life together etc I was more than ok hearing it. I have no insecurities about her. He loved her.

She died and if she didn't they would probably be together still but that doesn't mean he doesn't love me. There will always be a spot in his heart for her but his heart is big enough for both of us. That was then........this is now.

I left the ball in his court. He was very open about her, more so over time as he was more comfortable sharing and he also realized I was not uncomfortable hearing it. I have seen pics.

She was BEAUTIFUL. Former model actually. It was an important part of his life so if I wanted him to be comfortable discussing it if he wanted to.

But to me it didn't matter either way. I was the only woman he dated that was truly ok talking about it. Others said they were ok with it but then felt insecure about it and started competing with a dead woman.

Once he realized I was truly ok he was very open.

I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.