Regarding mutability: F# allows you to be pragmatic. I rarely prefer a state monad to a mutable/ref, but you can do whichever you like. Monads are not shunned, but I think people tend to only use them when they're a clear-cut win (e.g. Async programming).
1) I wouldn't go so far as to say monads are shunned... You mentioned you have some background with Haskell - so F# workflows are what you want to look into (the term workflow maybe confusing but these only have a tiny bit to do with business process stuff). In general, sequence expressions and more generally computational expressions (a.k. A workflows) are going to be close to monads.
That said mutable is pretty common though I'm not sure 'preferred' would be the way to express it. They each have a place - Personally, I started with two books -- 'Foundation of F#' - but if you're looking to dive in - go 'Expert F#' -- both are good. Honestly, I needed Foundations to help me get started.
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