Does spanking children teach them that violence is a way to solve problems?

I was also spanked as a child when I needed it. Like you, I was spanked in school too. I am 45 and a pacifist.

Spanking does not teach children that violence is the way to solve problems but what it does teach them is respect. I'm not talking about beating children but just a spanking that stings; a form of punishment they will remember. In our society we are trying to be friends to our children when we need to be parents.

We are so afraid of mentally 'damaging' our kids if we say or do the wrong thing to them. As a result, look at our kids. Most are disrespectful of parents, teachers, anyone in authority.

When I was a child, that spanking taught me if I did the same thing again, I could expect another spanking. You know what, I didn't do it again. I know there are other methods of discipline, I use them.

I have a five year old who behaves fairly well but when she gets out of line and really needs discipline before it gets way out of hand, I count, 1, 2, 3. If I get to three before she corrects her behavior, she gets either a spanking or her computer or TV time revoked. It depends on what she does.

I have never made it to three. She knows I mean business.

There have been many studies purporting to say either yes or no, so I do not believe that there is any conclusive evidence one way or the other. What the child learns from any punishment is largely dependent on your communication with them before, during and after the punishment. Being sent to stand in a corner could possibly give the child the idea that you should deal with problems by turning away from them, but if you communicate well, then they learn that if you behave improperly, then you can lose your liberties.

Spanking, or any other corrective action, is similar.

Definetly not! Spanking your children isn't a bad thing at all. I believe that it shows the child that they won't be able to get away with something bad that they have done without a punishment.

Spanking is a good form of punishment because the child will try to prevent themselves from being spanked again. I believe that it teaches the child to curtail objectionable behavior. I believe hitting someone for no reason would show the child that violence is ok, such as when a father figure hits a mother figure to solve his anger at her, that would show the child that hitting would solve problems.

Some what, that was a bad example but you get the idea.

My children were spanked under age of 8. I felt this was a time when their attention spans were short and their comprehension for reasoning out their actions was not effective yet. Now that they are over age of 8 I find that I can sit down with them and help them evaluate the choices they have made.

They have the ability to discuss their actions and comprehend what I am saying. Depending on the situation I take away different activities, time with friends, tv etc What I see with some of my friends who have older children in their teens is that spanking is ineffective at this age. Their children see a quick resolution to a "wrong".

They get a few spanks it stings for a little while and that is it. They don't have any time away from the things they love to do so realistically there are no consequences for their actions other than pain and often these same friends are exasperated when their children walk away after the spanking with smirks. Well no wonder all they got was 5 minutes of quick pain for whatever they did "wrong".

It doesn't matter what these kids do because they know the drill. My children have begun to think about what is right and wrong. They know if they choose the wrong decision it will impact their lives both socially and time spent away from the things they enjoy.

This is far greater pain then a 5 minute sting from a spanking and helps them make better choices in the future. I don't believe there is any impact in spanking older children that helps them learn. These children will grow up sometimes making wrong choices and be faced with suffering consequences and long-term affects of their actions.

Their bosses won't be giving them a quick sting on their rear-end like their upbringing which was pain for wrong actions. Although I don't know of any studies done on children who were spanked into their teens and how they handle themselves outside the home yet something isn't right because today's kids are more aggressive and hostile than my generation of 20 years ago.

I was spanked as a child, and back then we didn't holler abuse because we knew we had it coming! When it's used correctly, it teaches the child that they had better start respecting their parents' wishes and learn to control themselves. Children want to know their parents care enough to set limits on their behavior, even though they may say otherwise.

I don't believe it leads to violence. Physical discipline and domestic violence are two different things, and children will learn to handle things with violence if that's what their parents do. I am a strong supporter of spanking children and when it's done appropriately (without parental anger but firmness, and on the backside) it can be quite effective.

But it should be reserved for only the most severe misbehaviors, when the kids are really pushing their luck! Kids don't have to be spanked all the time to start paying attention, they just need to know you're willing to do it if they don't straighten up! I've never spanked my teenage granddaughter but I've never had any discipline problems with her because she saw me spank her cousin ONCE when they were both six years old, and she knows Grandma will do it if need be.

She's too old to be spanked now, of course, but it's still an effective deterrent for her younger brother and sister.

No spanking is good when it's deserved, I can't stand all of these pussy ass whiny people who call it child abuse and say the kids will turn out emotionally distressed, that's not true at all, it teaches your kid to quit being a little punk ass, the parents who whine and call it child abuse are the same parents who's kids walk all over them, they don't respect them or anybody else and grow up being just as big of pussies as thier parents. I grew up getting spanked and I deserved it big time, ( sorry for the cursing this is just a really heated subject for me).

I would say whether violence begets violence depends on the personality of each individual child, as well as the severity of the spanking (or other physical violence the child experiences at home). The problem with spanking is that while it might appear to teach children respect, it likely mainly arouses fear in the child. Thus, a child who is threatened with a spanking for misbehaving and stops the misbehavior momentarily after the consequence is voiced gives his/her the parent an illusion of earned respect.

The parent in turn will likely continue to use this type of disciplinary method since it worked in the past. However, the child may simply have experienced a spanking in the past, is not willing to undergo future physical discipline and so stops his misbehavior out of fear of a painful experience. The question remains, however, whether this disciplinary technique was truly effective if it deters the child from acting out.

Sure it stops the behavior, but did the child really learn anything from his misbehavior other than that it upsets his parents to point where they lose control and lash out? Wouldn’t it also be expected that this same child would use a similar technique if he found himself in a situation where he was frustrated with another child (the way his parents were frustrated with him), because he did not know how else to handle such a situation? Yes, I do believe that children who are treated with violence, even if it is not severe violence, learn to act violently in certain situations and are more likely to hit their friends rather than resolve conflicts verbally.

And when you think about it, it makes sense: If you throw a tantrum at home because you want a cookie and won’t stop crying unless you get one and your parent flips and spanks your behind without an explanation, do you know why you were hit? For the misbehavior, yes, but wouldn’t you maybe assume that you were a “bad” child and your parents did not love you enough not to hit (especially if physical discipline is a repetitive measure of discipline used by the parents)? Well, this is exactly what many little children feel like when they are hit.

They assume that they (and not their behavior) are bad and that they are not able to do anything right. If this self-internalization escalates, the child may not only lack sufficient self-esteem, but also label himself as bad and therefore act bad always, because he expects that other perceive him as and expect him to act bad as well.

Actually, violence IS a way to solve problems. You might remember World War II was settled that way.

I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.