It is not about refreshing. If you modify the graph in detached state EF is not able to find what changes you did. You must manually set the state of each modified entity or relation .
Attach will put whole graph in Unchanged state and ChangeObjectState affects only single entity in the graph.
Ladislav is correct. However, there is one more option that you should consider which would solve this problem and still allow you to retain the detatched model - self tracking POCOs. There's a T4 template (it's either bundled with VS2010 or is available as a download) which allows an object graph to track its state (this includes adding / removing objects into the graph as well as what properties with an object have changed) so that you can reattach the graph having made modifications; EF4 will figure out the changes and apply those to object state manager for you.
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