How can I deal with loss of control and insecurity during depression?

Try the following exercise: 1. If you're struggling with the idea that before your depression you did not have all that much control and security in your life, then you should examine what is really true about your previous life. Ask yourself the following questions and write your reflections in a journal: Was I calm and serene before my depression?

What did I worry about before my depression? What did I feel out of control about before my depression? What did I feel insecure about before my depression?

2. Many times the suffering associated with feeling out of control is caused by a mental comparison between the current feeling of little control and an ideal state of having perfect control. But there is no such state of perfect control. Read and contemplate the following paragraph, and consider it a challenge to the idea that your highest value is to seek control and security: Imagine that a great healer comes to you and tells you that your purpose in life is to always seek out new experiences.

Your life is intended to be an exploration of what it means to be fully human. This healer connects you with the part of yourself that sees your life as an exciting playing field where you can discover new aspects of the world, yourself, and other people. This part of yourself values venturing out of your comfort zone more than it values security and control.

Experiment with trying on a new core value and see how it affects your depression and attitude toward change. Sometimes in your depression you may agonize over the senseless suffering your depression seems to have caused. With this most radical perspective, you may even view your depression as a common human passage that is worthwhile for you to go through.

If you are a person who is seeking out human experiences, then depression is one stop on a tour of all that makes us human. To avoid depression would mean depriving yourself of the experiences of grief, emptiness, and pain. Your depression is not the end of the road; it is, rather, part of the journey.

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