For the Begin/EndGetDilbert() methods, you can use a technique with Future.
It is kind of a nightmare to get this right. You need to create callbacks to pass into each 'Begin' method that then run the 'continuation' of the method. (And don't forget to ensure all the exception-handling and CompletedSynchronously logic is correct!) When you author this in C# today, your code turns into a hopeless mess of spaghetti, but that's about the only way you can achieve your goal (not have threads blocking on I/O waits).
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