How can I replace my less-than-30-day-old Mac Mini with a new one?

I wouldn't waste your time calling a store to try and figure this out. Much like cell phone stores, the associates at retail establishments aren't the 'decision makers' for these types of issues. I would call the Apple Sales Support hotline (1-800-MY-APPLE) and explain to them your situation.

Emphasize that you have been a dedicated Apple customer, and politely explain to them that if they can't help you with this issue, it could jeopardize future purchases from being made at Apple. The LAST thing this company wants is to know that something they are/aren't doing is potentially driving customers to Dell, HP, etc. Possibly try to negotiate with them; it looks like they have a 10% restocking fee for returns, so tell them they can take a 15% restocking fee if it will help the situation. Basically you want to give them a 'I love Apple, and want to have the newest product, but if you don't let me, I'll take my love somewhere else'..just not in those exact words of course!

I've had to do this with T-Mobile and other companies before and have been able to get them to bend certain policies because they were afraid of losing a customer.

I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.