How can I teach my child the waiting skills to control impulses?

Besides looking for those waiting opportunity moments, you can teach your child skills that will help him push his own inner pause button. Your child may barrel straight into every task right now, but your ultimate goal is gradually to stretch his ability to control those impulses and learn to wait at his level. Start by timing how long your child can pause before those impulses get the best of him.

Take that time as his “waiting ability” (even if it’s only two seconds) and then slowly increase it over the next weeks and months. Here are six strategies from The Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries that help kids control impulses. • Freeze.

In a calm voice say this to your child: “Freeze. Don’t move until you can get back in control.”• Use a phrase. Have him slowly say a phrase like “One Mississippi, two Mississippi.”• Hold your breath.

Tell your kid not to breathe as long as possible and then to take a few long, deep breaths. (Just make sure he remembers to breathe!)• Count. Join your child in slowly counting from on to twenty (or fewer with a younger kid).

• Sing. For a young child, ask him to pick his favorite tune, such as “Frere Jacques” or “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star” and hum a few bars. • Watch.

Have him look at his wristwatch and count set numbers of seconds (such as ten). Expand that number to what is appropriate to the child.

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