How can I use positive attention to make my child with ADHD feel special?

Part of being a coach to your child with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is understanding what may be motivating bad behavior and poor performance. In some cases, negative attention that singles him out may in fact be meeting his basic need for being unique and special. One way to prevent your child from seeking out attention in this way is to plan an activity that highlights how special he is.

This means doing something with just your child, an activity that involves a treat and extra positive attention. Many of us use the removal of treats or privileges as a means to discipline our kids when they misbehave. But sometimes taking away treats, attention, or an activity that instills a sense of uniqueness in your child can set up a vicious cycle.

He desperately needs to feel important and special, so he reacts by misbehaving even more, both out of frustration and as a strategy to get special but negative attention. Your child's special activity should involve only your child. If you have other children, you can emphasize to your child that the activity is just for him and not for his brothers and sisters (of course you'll want to make sure each child gets a special-attention activity).

Use your creativity in planning the activity, but remember that it could be as simple as taking him out to dinner -- just you and him. Emphasize to your child that this activity is just to show him how special he is, and that he doesn't have to do anything to earn it.

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