How do I confront my mother for her jealousy of my father's mistress and her disrespect towards my lover?

I am intrigued by your story. Thank you for sharing it. As Curious said, you didn't mention if Barbara was Black or not.

I am assuming that she was, and that is why you had mentioned your wife and how your mother dislikes your wife for being black. I think you should talk to your mother and tell her how unfair it is that she is letting what happened between her husband and Barbara in the past affect her present with you and your wife. Why should your wife have to suffer because your mother is a racist and has these issues with your father?

It isn't fair to your wife. If your mother had such a problem with the situation, then she should have divorced your father. Talk to your mother and get how you feel off your chest.

Be prepared, though, in regards to how she reacts. You may talk with her, and it may lead to a better relationship between your mother and your wife, or it may not. It's a 50/50 shot.

If your mother doesn't change her feelings about your wife, then you may have to accept that even though you love and respect your mother, she won't be a major presence in your life because of her racist beliefs and also because she cannot get over the past. The important thing is NOT to feel guilty if she doesn't see your side of things. You talked to her and did what you could, and you have to make peace with yourself that you at least tried to make things better.

Good luck and God Bless :).

I would forgive your mom everything she did towards Barbara. She is the only one who knows how pain she went through in this situation. But I would not forgive the way she treats your wife.

Your wife did not do anything to her.

I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.