How do you heal from an 11 year committed relationship that just ended?

Yes, as Allisha says, grieve, really let yourself feel the pain so that you can let it go. Once you have flushed out all those raw emotions, you can start to let it go and look to the future. It won't be easy, but time really does heal or at the very least lessen the pain.

Time, family, friends, being busy doing things for other and then more time.

One key that people often overlook is forgiveness. Unforgiveness can keep one tied to negativity. Forgive the other--forgive yourself--forgive whoever you may blame.

Also, one day at a time is great advice. When I came out of a relationship that was devastating for me, I had to live in the "right now" because spending too much time in the past made me feel sad and have regrets but the past was a vapor. Living in the future was a distraction because there were too many "what ifs" that I could never answer.

Each day is a gift so look for the gift in today. Sometimes the gift is painful but necessary--like, "Today the gift is that I cry and grieve" but this is a gift because it is part of the very process of healing. Don't bury your emotions because they become toxic to your body and soul if not dealt with, but don't get buried in them, either.At some point, when you are ready, you can look for the good that can be brought from this.

I learned so much from the relationship that I was in with a man I was once engaged to, that now I can much better love my husband. The sorrow I've been through has taught me compassion and the weak moments endured have made me strong.It helps to have somebody who really cares to be an ear to listen or even just a person to hang out with. I know the biggest thing that helped me heal was not just what I did, but Who I turned to for help.

I allowed God to come into the grieving and I sought m and s ways and allowed m to heal my heart and to use the situation to help me become more mature and wise. Hope this helps and I pray supernatural peace over you right now.

Much good advice has been offered here. I'm not sure what else I can add that is new and fresh. Perhaps just this: listen to your inner voice and it will guide you through the healing process.

When you are in need of support, seek that; when you are in need of alone time, heed that. It takes a quiet mind to listen to what the heart is in need of to heal. This is not an overnight solution...it is a process.

Many Blessings.

I really like what Seek-n-Find said "Don't bury your emotions because they become toxic to your body and soul if not dealt with..." I went through a horrible time in my life, going through a divorce from an abusive partner, who also happened to be an alcoholic...Lets just say I had A LOT of forgiveness to deal with, forgiving myself, my ex, his kids, other individuals who had been involved in the downfall at some point for various reasons... I held on to my anger for so long it began to make me physically sick, it was not pretty. I even lost almost half of my hair (it actually fell out, leaving huge bald spots on my head).

You've got to give yourself time to grieve. Just keep forging ahead, day-to-day. Before you know it, months will pass, and one of those days you'll stop and think about it and begin to realize you are healing, and the pain is not so intense anymore.

Healing from a relationship that long will take a lot of time. I would suggest taking it day by day. Grieve as long as you need to and make time for yourself.

Talk to close friends and family. Don't bottle up your emotions.

That happened to me. And it was many years ago but as I read the question, it flashed before . Me, the raw open wound.

And I heard my mind saying, very carefully.

It is akin to a death but the partner is still living and maybe with someone else. And maybe right down the street. You may even have to see the person on a regular basis because of child custody.

But you still have to recover.

Go through the steps you would if you were grieving a death.

It would be a good idea to read ....Getting Past Your Breakup..How to turn a devastating loss into the best thing that ever happened to you' by Susan Elliott.

And, after a while, I said those words....'it was the best thing that ever happened to me..' it was a long while but it came.

It will help you identify the feelings you are having, give them a name, and know that what you are feeling is normal and to be expected.

Above all be patient with yourself if you are not healing as quickly as you think you should be. Some will say, get over it, move on, let me fix you up, go out with us...and if you are not ready, don't go.

Surround yourself with those who will let you 'grieve. ' you need to be able to talk about how you feel. I was living in a 'blur' for a while but I had a close circle of friends who took me by the hand and helped me get through it.

For the start you have to be willing to heal yourself. The process of healing and I mean real healing is internal. So you have to set you mind right from the very start.

They say time is the healer but you need physical effort. I wrote a hub about how to recover from heart break. Visit my profile and read it.

Healing will take time. So be realistic and take each day at a time. Get out there with friends and family and do what you love doing.

All to keep your mind occupied.

As time goes by and with little effort every day, you will certainly walk out of it. I relate with you how painful it is because I lost my six years relationship few years back.

To me the only thing that will heal it is time and moving on. Don't jump into a new relationship but start to live your own life after you have finished feeling really bad. Loneliness is the worst part of breaking up , so don't be a hermit, the world is too full of good people to do that.

I agree that every broken relationship deserves some grieving and friends and family do help as stated by others.

BUT the most important thing I think (and what helped me when I got tired of feeling sorry for myself and decided it was time to 'snap out of it'); is to look after yourself!

If you miss the flowers, buy yourself some. If you want a long hot soak in a bubble bath, have one. If you want to order takeaway, do it!

Don't sell yourself short.

If there's something you didn't feel comfortable doing while you were in this relationship; do it often and appreciate that you can.

Treat yourself to a nice new hair cut and style and a new outfit (one you wouldn't have worn in the last 11 years).

Don't let yourself go. Exercise is an amazing healer!

If anything in your house makes you sad when you look at it; get rid of it! If you are unable to get rid, atleast box all the items away.

Realise your own worth! The pain won't last forever; I promise. Best wishes hun, take care of you :-).

Thank you everyone for your helpful responses.

Take time to heal and grieve, as others have stated. But also start to get into touch with yourself. 11 years is a long time to be connected to someone else and it might take time to find the single you.

I found that starting with some writing, listing what you like or want to do, is a great start point. Then, start doing them! Start to live your life based on your ideas, goals, passions as you rediscover them.

Also, I find that leaving a relationship leaves me with lots of me time. When that gets lonely, which it will in moments, take time to reach out to friends and family that love and care for you. Especially work on reconnecting to friends you may have neglected while in the relationship.

Following your own interests and getting out, might led to new friendships.

It's definitely going to take time and rebuilding your own life.

It will help immensely to get some help in dealing with your emotional distress. You may be experiencing anger towards yourself or the other person, sadness at your loss, fear that you will lose again if you enter another relationship or guilt and all the associated stories that go with it.

It's absolutely crucial to your healing process to acknowledge these emotions and release them. However, this is too painful for many people to do.

A good healer will know how to go inside you with Love and transform your pain into healing energy. You should experience immediate relief and become able to remember your relationship without the pain arising. This will hasten greatly your recovery process.

Realistically this might be very painful if you didn't want the relationship to end. But if it's over then the process of healing starts immediately. That process looks different from person to person.

The main thing you'd want to control is your thoughts and focus. The intensity of emotions will make it almost impossible to think about anything else but you must move forward in the most positive way possible.

Over time you'll eventually be in a position where you can think about that person and feel peace about yourself. This could take a long time though but at least you can find comfort in knowing what you feel right now will one day turn to peace if you allow.

It can be hard but time will go by and it will get easier for you, but you should just relax cuz the more you think about it the harder it will be to move on.

Do your fair amount of mourning but make a point to move on!

I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.