How Do You Survive A Dysfunctional Family Holiday?

Take heart - in this article you'll find tips to survive the holiday season, and ways to stay sane in the midst of chaos. Plan Ahead. Last year was too much.

Tommy was sloshed, Aunt Nora wouldn't even look at your mother, and the baby barfed all over Grandpa's new Christmas sweater. This year, be prepared. Decide where to go and how long to stay.

Stick to limits that work for you, and when the baby barfs, quietly give Mom a kiss and slip out the door. Use your support system. Friends are crucial to surviving the holidays.

Intersperse family events with phone calls and visits with close friends. Soak up the love and support they offer before heading back in to the family fray. Don't act out of obligation.

Many people go to events out of obligation, but this year, to feel good at the end of it all, refuse to be obligated. You can do whatever you want - I give you permission! And if people get mad, they will get over it eventually.

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Dysfunctional families create a tumultuous home environment that is often filled with drug or alcohol abuse and domestic violence. To grow into a happy and healthy adult, you'll need to learn how to survive a dysfunctional family. Go to Suzanne Gold's Web site for advice on how to survive a dysfunctional family (see Resources below).

The counselor has helpful resources, including the article "Surviving a Dysfunctional Family." Realize the problem. One of the main strategies of surviving a dysfunctional family involves recognizing that your family has a problem and pinpointing the source of the dysfunction (for example, alcohol abuse, chronic illness or domestic discord).

Seek healthy individuals. To survive a dysfunctional family, you'll have to develop relationships with healthy people outside the family dynamic. Besides healthy minded friends, you'll probably want to start speaking to a counselor.

Work on your self-esteem. People who come from dysfunctional families often have self- ... more.

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