How much fighting is too much fighting between couples? Are there really "happy" couples out there that rarely fight?

Similar questions: fighting couples happy rarely fight.

Some fighting is a sign of interest and investment in the other person, but balance is important. As a psychologist, I see couples ad individuals in relationships who ask similar questions. Couples have temperments just like people, some liking a fair amount of fighting and others who like a more quiet life.

The important thing is to find AN outlet for solving problems. Fighting or arguing is one such outlet. If you see a couple who doe't fight very much, chances are they have other ways to resolve their differences.

Just remember that the payoff should be better times after the fight than before it. Good luck! Johnyaya's Recommendations Everybody Wins: The Chapman Guide to Solving Conflicts Without Arguing (Marriage Saver) Amazon List Price: $9.99 Used from: $5.79 Stop Arguing and Start Understanding: Eight Steps to Solving Family Conflicts Amazon List Price: $14.95 Used from: $0.50 Average Customer Rating: 5.0 out of 5 (based on 1 reviews) .

When there isn't more laughter than fighting Every healthy, happy couple fights. It's important to challenge eachother, express your emotions (which should never line up perfectly), and ocassionally just butt heads for the good old sport of it. Bottling up differences and frustration leads to only misery.My hubby and I have been married for five yrs.

We're best friends, big kids, partners in crime, and we have amazing electricity between us . And every now and then we need to really clean house with a good fight/argument. Afterwards we feel better.

And we have a stronger bond for it. BUT....there should always be FAR MORE laughter than fighting. When the giggles and winks stop, and the yelling or moodiness seems constant, you've got a real problem.

It's a red flag that your differences and frustrations aren't everyday hoohaa - but real realtionship and personality conflicts. That's your sign that it's time to re-evaluate how happy you make eachother and whether or not all the fighting's worth it (it so rarely is). Remember, life is short.

And you don't want to spend the happiest years of your life shouting and crying. It might be time to free yourself if the laughter isn't there. PenguinSage's Recommendations Break Up or Break Through Amazon List Price: $15.95 Used from: $5.94 Average Customer Rating: 3.5 out of 5 (based on 3 reviews) Wake Up or Break Up: 8 Crucial Steps to Strengthening Your Relationship Amazon List Price: $24.95 Used from: $1.94 Average Customer Rating: 4.0 out of 5 (based on 2 reviews) .

Fighting is OK, it's the method that's important arguing is natural and necessary among relationships. It is important however to learn "how" to argue efficiently, so that good results come from the discussion (one item at a time, give and take, listen, willing to find solutions, commit, focus, etc. ). However, fights frequency depends on personalities, some people are "louder" than others and express their feelings easier and fighting for them is OK.

BUT if you are at a point where you start wondering if your relationship is "normal", may be that's a sign something is wrong, not because of the amount of fightings, but because you are feeling uncomfortable. "happily ever after" is not real, some days you will love your significant other with all your heart, some other days you would prefer not to see him/her at all! Just accept that fact and don't worry that much.

PS: there ARE coulples that rarely fight, but that doesn't mean they are happier than those that fight every day... it all depends....! .

Yes. There are couples like that. The fighting is too much if it becomes damaging to the relationship, in my opinion.

That depends on how the couple fights, does it get out of hand, does anyone say hurtfull things, is the fight productive or elucidating, does it cause resentment or hurt? An occasional fight (or whatever you like to call it) can be a good thing. It can help to clear the air and spur people on to do better and make up.

But I suspect a lof of fights can be damaging especially if one (or both) feel hurt afterward, or resentful, angry, dissatisfied, etc. Or if the fights never resolve anything. I know a lot of happy couples who rarely fight. I'm half of one of those couples.

(My DH doesn't even like to call our rare fights, fights. He prefers the term loud disagreements/discussions because he feels fights are mean in nature and we aren't mean, just annoyed.) gingergoddess's Recommendations Love Is Never Enough: How Couples Can Overcome Misunderstandings, Resolve Conflicts, and Solve Amazon List Price: $14.00 Used from: $0.47 Average Customer Rating: 5.0 out of 5 (based on 7 reviews) Just Your Type: Create the Relationship You've Always Wanted Using the Secrets of Personality Type Amazon List Price: $26.99 Used from: $14.98 Average Customer Rating: 4.5 out of 5 (based on 17 reviews) We Can Work It Out: How to Solve Conflicts, Save Your Marriage Amazon List Price: $14.95 Used from: $3.79 Average Customer Rating: 5.0 out of 5 (based on 11 reviews) .

It's a question of communication style For some couples, "fighting" is just communicating. It's the communication style that works for them. I would find that aggravating, but I've seen these couples stay together forever and be very happy, even though it sounds like they hate each other if you don't really know them.My own communication style is much more based on finding common ground, and I seek out partners who feel the same way.

So I never fight with my partners. We have disagreements, but they never get loud, and we never use words designed to hurt each other rather than further our side. We still do things that hurt each other, but responding with more hurting isn't going to do either of us any good.

Sometimes one or the other of us will be in a foul mood and behaves irrationally, but we strive very hard not to let that ever happen to both of us simultaneously. But just because that works for me doesn't mean it'll work for everybody. A communication style is a very hard thing to change.

And my choice of partners is very restricted by the communication style that I seek out. If you have other priorities as well, it can be very difficult to find somebody compatible. Other people would find my style exasperating.

I've known people who are convinced there's a problem in my relationship because we never fight. They're sure we're repressing something. I insist it's because we discuss every issue rationally, but maybe I'm just too repressed to know.

So the "proper level" will be determined by the couple. At one end there's me; at the other are my friends John and Rosa who have small fights several times a day and have been happily married for over a decade. I can tell you that if your style is making you unhappy, then it's a problem with your relationship.

You'll have to decide for yourself at which point the relationship is no longer worth it. You can seek counseling to try to make your communication styles more compatible. PamPerdue's Recommendations You Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation Amazon List Price: $13.95 Used from: $2.49 Average Customer Rating: 4.0 out of 5 (based on 67 reviews) A brilliant book on the subject.

It's not a counseling text, but it'll help you understand how fights occur and how they are sometimes just part of communication.

" "The President says we are fighting in Iraq so that we do not have to fight the terrorists here. Does that hold water?" "why do people stay in relationships that they are not happy with" "If Abbie Hoffman were fighting against causes in America today, what would he fight against and why? " "Do you usually, often, sometimes, rarely, or never?!" "Since I can't fulfill my fantasy of brutalizing happy couples for Valentine's day, what should I do on 2/14?

" "couples and relationships going bad" "I have heard that there are different fighting styles that couples have, and all can be equally valid - care to add? " "Does you have the problem of being so fastidious that you are rarely truly happy?

How much did it cost to create "fighting", "fight club", and "never back down.

The President says we are fighting in Iraq so that we do not have to fight the terrorists here. Does that hold water?

Why do people stay in relationships that they are not happy with.

Do you usually, often, sometimes, rarely, or never?!

I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.