How much influence should grandparents have in raising and disciplining your children?

We had a similar situation in our own family. My daughter and her kids lived with the dad and his parents while they were very young, until she left him because he was abusive. When the parents would try to discipline the kids, the grandparents would step in and stop them, and basically let the kids get away with murder (figuratively, not literally).

Both of those children were spoiled rotten by this overindulgence and barely mind their mother. The mother in question needs to DEFINITELY AND IN NO UNCERTAIN TERMS tell the grandmother that when she (mom) disciplines the children that grandma needs to stay out of it! What grandma does with them when mom isn't home is another matter.

Flip that coin: now they live with us and I try to let mom deal with the kids but she has very little control over them. I try to turn a deaf ear and ignore them, but it's hard and sometimes I have to be the bad guy. Grandma shouldn't have to do that to keep the peace.

Parents are the parents, it is as simple as that really. Parents can and should draw off the experience of grandparents when raising and disciplining children, but grandparents should have only a small influence in this area. Clearly the level will vary from family to family.

Some parents are less capable than others and will welcome grandparents into routine disciplinary matters. The danger is that allowing the grandparents in too much will actually undermine the parents themselves, it's a balance that most parents will know when it is right. The one thing that can never be allowed is when grandparents contradict or undermine the discipline decisions of a parent, this is extremely damaging and confusing for the child.

Since the grandmother watches your children on occasion she is probably acting on reflex. You should talk to her about it and ask her to let you discipline your kids when she is not around or when you are all together, simply because they need to respect their mother as their main authority figure. Be sure to let her know you are grateful for her help and the care she has given them.

I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.