How to deal with neighborhood bullies? Autistic son having a hard time with mean kids. Trouble due to ignorance?

The trouble could definitely be ignorance, yes. But some people just jump on people they see as weaker than themselves. And not that he deserves it, but I know my child who is on the spectrum can't read faces very well, so misreads people a lot and gets in trouble because of not picking up non-verbal cues.My child tends to go too far without realizing this, and less-nice kids will then turn around and do what would be termed "bullying"--but really are just reacting to being pushed too far.

Nicer kids just walk away and then my child's feelings are hurt. It's a real conundrum. You could try approaching the parents, depending on where your child is on the spectrum and what kind of people they are.

I have a friend whose kids are both autistic, and she told me, but then said "don't make allowances for their behavior," by which she meant she doesn't want me allowing them to behave badly. But realistically, if a 10-year-old were to fall apart in a melt-down because I asked her to push her chair in upon leaving the table, I wouldn't socialize with that family anymore. But her kids react like this all the time, so in reality I *am* making allowances.

Bottom line: how far is the bullying going? You have to protect him, and then you can figure out why they're bullying him. Could be bad home life on their parts, too.

Oh, my heart aches for your son. He has enough going on, he certainly does not need this. I don't usually suggest this, but have you tried talking with the parents?

Ask them to sit down with their children and explain what they are doing is cruel and unkind. They should explain to their children what it means to be autistic and how their bullying is affecting him. Tell your son, that some children are just plain old bullies, and the best thing for him to do is feel sorry for them.

Because they are really unhappy in life. I send good Karma for you and your son and wish for only good things for you.

I agree with talking with the parents and not making allowances for our kids' bad behaviors (Temple Grandin says "never punish sensory problems, but do punish bad behavior, so learn to recognize the difference"), but sometimes bullies just pick on them because they're different, and social structures (school, neighborhood) conspire to have the kids around without parental supervision, so something still needs to be done so the kids get along. I have a friend who put his Aspergers kid in Aikido, with a very mellow instructor who also taught him to meditate and control his temper via breathing along with his aikido training. By controlling his temper he can get by with ignoring most of the bullying; he will be self-confident and unafraid of the other kids because he knows he would likely win, and if it becomes physical, good martial arts training is usually focused to cut a battle short (either by quickly grounding the other person or inmobilizing), then immediately stop and control yourself.

Because he has aspergers he can explain very logically (after the fact and at the principal's office) exactly what triggered the fight and who did what. Seems to be working out for him. I assume any traditional martial art where the instructor emphasizes meditation and relaxation as part of the training (usually before and then again after the katas) would work (Wu Shu Kung Fu, some karate shops, Aikido would all work well).

He tells me that he usually has one fight right around when a new school year is starting to settle in (usually with a new kid that doesn't know he is not the type that can be bullied even if it seems otherwise), then things settle down for that year. I am not in the spectrum (my son is), but I was bullied a lot as I was pretty nerdy (who knows, maybe today I'd be diagnosed with something). I took Judo for a few years and I was able to care less about the bullying even as it continued.

Caring less made the bullying fade away, as it didn't really work to rile me up anymore. Around 3 years later a larger bully type got into it with me enough that it got physical - twice (first time was interrupted so I guess he didn't learn his lesson). After that he respected me and he even followed me around trying to hang out for a few months - I was polite and we ended up not very close, but friendly.So to avoid him damaging others, don't excuse his bad behavior.

To avoid others damaging him, teach him self defense and meditation.

I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.