How would handle extreme sibling rivalry or jealously among two siblings?

Sibling rivalry is expected. And a little is just part of growing up, but when it gets out of hand and goes to extremes it's unhealthy. The child being the bully needs to understand they do not go through life forcing others to behave as they wish and the child being bullied needs to learn that standing up for themselves is necessary as well as abuse is never acceptable.

Allowing such behavior to go on is not only irresponsible, it is also dangerous to the mental stability of the children. First and foremost; in my household, it is established what is and is not acceptable behavior. No one is ever called "stupid" or "ugly" or anything else negative.

When one child gets angry enough to bark at the other the rule is they are to go to their room or at least away from their sibling until they can behave rationally and responsibly. If they find themselves beyond the ability to control their actions or their tongues, there are consequences. And to be honest, it rarely happens because I uphold the rules.

When children know what is expected of them and then the consequences of going outside the boundaries they are much less likely to step over them. If I see that even with enforcing the guidelines of the household that there is still a problem my first step will be to address it head on. "Why is this happening?" "What can we do to improve the situation?

" Hopefully; as a family, we can derive from the situation a way to resolve it. Sibling rivalry is not abnormal. However, when it becomes extreme there is an obvious problem.

I believe; as a parent, that I would need to step away from the situation and ask myself, "Am I giving more attention to one child than the other? " or "Am I causing this in some way?" Many times it is a parent that unknowingly gives more attention to a child, making the other jealous and therefore creating the problem.

By being more present and following through with having them be nice and talk nice to each other and watching movies with them where the siblings are mean to each other and point out this is how they have been with each other and that that is not right! I would make them be nice to each other with a lot of talking... As a note: my sister was mean to me all of my life until just a few months back... I never want this for my girls. When I see my oldest treating my youngest in anyway that my sister was allowed to treat me I step in and give them tools to be best friends.

Teach her how to talk to the little one, how to have her teach the little one. I teach her how with honesty that it is not fair to her that I allow her to behave that way because she will not get what she needs in life and that the little one will be her best friend if she just has patience with her and gives her love and companionship. In my opinion, if it doesn't work, at least I tried and they both know I will stand up for them!

I will not passively just watch either one of them be treated badly nor will I just passively allow them to be mean to anyone in life. It seem to be working. In their heart of hearts they are both amazing, caring and loving.

Just needing the tools to communicate gently in times of low blood sugar, being tired or just following behaivoral patterns learned from tv and media...

I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.