How would you respond to your husband's refusal to change your infant daughter's diaper?

I can understand my husband and I know he's not making an excuse. Actually, we had a two years old 'only' daughter among our four kids. When our daughter was an infant, I was the one changing diapers but whenever I was away, my husband did it.

But, he was too careful because he knows girls are sensitive. It's me who always finished cleaning the baby because he's afraid to touch the baby's private part. He cares for our baby so much.

Until now, he always tell me that I should be the one to wash our daughter's private part because he doesn't know how to care for it well because he's a guy. So, he is the one in-charged of our three boys. As a mother, I am also afraid to clean the boys' private parts because I am afraid I could hurt them, too so I and my husband are fair now, lol.

I think it's okay to understand the husband because they only want your daughter to be safe. They're males so they can only take care well of the boys also. In your friend's husband's case, let them read this answer of mine if possible.

The husband should not think bad about their daughter's private part. He should be open-minded and instead of thinking that it's inappropriate for him to look at it, he should think that he's the one making the baby. It's his baby, he should love everything about the baby.

Like me and my husband, we don't consider it a problem. We embrace everything about the baby. And babies are innocent so the father should not think any bad about his baby or else, he should seek a psychiatrist's help.

I agree that the man has issues, but I don't think it's as extreme as kty suggests. Perhaps he's been raised in a very rigid environment where he haven't seen any nude women before, except his wife of course, that he thinks it's inappropriate for a man to look at any female's genitalia. Rigid upbringing has bring more harm than good to sexuality.

Because genitalia (or even hair in some societies) is labeled as something dirty and connected to sex acts, it makes people think that seeing ALL genitals by the opposite sex is wrong. Perhaps your friend should talk to her husband about the issue and let him explain why he thinks touching a baby's genitalia is wrong.

Just because everyone's brain isn't wired the same doesn't mean that man has a problem. When a woman says "no" about anything, the answer is "no". If a man says "no" about something why is that a problem?

I say respect the man and his ability to discern what is problematic for him, support him during this transitional period just as you would want to be. There'll be plenty of time for him to do his part once she is older or in every other way. I know of a situation that is very different but applicable to this one.

A young girl was forced to babysit a younger boy in spite of her protests and refusal, crying and begging not to have to do it. She was told she was being silly, every girl babysits, what would she do as an adult? She needed to learn how to do it now!

If they'd listened to her and respected her for knowing her limits even though she couldn't put her reasons for her discomfort into words it's possible that she might not have done things to that baby that she was later convicted of molestation for. Obviously there's quite a bit more to that situation but whenever someone declines to involve themselves with the care of another, for whatever reason, I'm always reminded of the situation I've just described that happened in our own family. No one was hurt, only the parents and authorities were upset.

The children are friends as adults and don't hold anything against the other but that one girls life will never be the same. If only people had listened to the warning signs and respected her requests a lot of pain and suffering could have been avoided. I'm not saying that the husband has "evil thoughts", there's nothing wrong with wanting to preserve a pristine and untainted view of his little girl.

I'm saying that if he's not comfortable don't put him in a situation that he isn't comfortable with. It's mean and highly inconsiderate and at the very least it's possible that the reluctance and discomfort can me misinterpreted as a lack of acceptance or love (maybe not by the infant, but who knows right? ).

We don't think if it was us in that position would we want our request to be honored we only put our own values or decisions onto others and hold it against them for being different. Until we learn how to read the minds and motives of others, take people at their word. Don't require them to change just for you, move on to someone else if you're not happy or enjoy them for being the person you fell in love with originally even if you don't agree.

The man has problems. He needs to visit a psychologist. If he really thinks its inappropriate to look at his own infant daughter naked then what's he really thinking?

Good grief, nudity is nothing bad, argh! He must be so full of impure thoughts about his young daughter that it makes me feel sad for the mother. The guy really thinks that?

Wow, its a bad nightmare for her for sure and I really do think they need to see a professional... unless he's just getting out of the effort by lying, which is even worse if he thinks he can lie about not wanting to see his daughter naked. Kids are not sexual creatures, babies are just cute, not sexy...argh! And naked babies look beautiful!

My husband was the same way. Only his reason was he could not stand the smell or looks of it lol. Sure there were times that I "needed" him to do it and he still refused that made me upset.

However, I really did understand that changing a poopy diaper made him gag. He was being honest too. LOL Mine was not laughing lol flickr.com/photos/tadnkat/4135461194.

I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.