I feel lonely, as if the whole world is against me. I ask god to calm my mind but he doesn't give me an answer?

If even the half of what you say is true, then my heart-felt sympathies go to you, especially if you have cancer. However, when you add that you have OCD, it could be that that is the biggest single reason why you feel "God has given up on me". Your last sentence even suggests that you blame God and want to punish God by dying from an eating disorder.

If that is true, then you are mentally unhinged and need professional help. No Christian follows Jesus to be protected from life's knocks and blows. There never was any suggestion that Christians would enjoy better health than others, or not mess up their life insurance, or not feel at times that God has given up on them.

The Bible is full of the sufferings of believers. Why should your life be more blessed than those of the saints of old? Have a read of Hebrews chapter 11 and stop thinking about yourself all the time.

Self obsession is a form of OCD but for as long as you are at the centre of your thinking, you will never be happy and God will never be honoured in your life.

It seem like God try to make you a great person, someone who can stand with all challenge and be a person that strong enough. But yeah maybe you don't realize it but trust me, don't give up at this moment because you almost there. Give up now will make you lost everything what you has work up.

Keep stronger and be more patience, don't think too much about it because not all we plan before can be achieve. What we can do is just keep moving forward. Always remember do good then good we will get.

That is God promise. :).

I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.