I have been given two different kinds of advice for dating. Out of these two what is your oppinion on them?

I have been given two different kinds of advice for dating. Out of these two what is your oppinion on them? I have always heard that one should never accept anything lower than his or her standards.

A person must have at least most or all of these qualities in order even think about going out with someone. But on the other hand I have heard that it's sometimes bad to be too picky. A person could miss out on getting to know a great person just because the guy or gal has some quality that the other person doesn't like or is missing a quality.

Now I know it's never good to just look at a person's outside appearance and automatically say no or yes to a date. Personality is really what counts, but come on, there has to be some physical attraction too. I know from experience.It's hard to get close to someone when there is no attraction physically.

What is your oppinion on this? Is okay to be picky and choosy? Or is it better to broaden one's choices?

And I don't just mean being picky for appearances, I'm talking about personality, humor, qualities one would look for in a friendship etc. Asked by musicholickgp 45 months ago Similar questions: kinds advice dating oppinion Arts > Comics.

Similar questions: kinds advice dating oppinion.

Here is a story for you Many years ago, I dated someone who was handsome, kind, and smart. He had a good job and I thought he was the man for me. Little did I know that he was far from it.

He was passive aggressive, he believed in peace at any price, and he would not stick up for himself as well as stick up for me. He made false promises and I believed it. I don't have to tell you that I got hurt in the end.

Some years later, I met another man who was not as handsome, but he was nice. He did not have a great job, but he was driven to make something of himself. He was funny, and he loved God.

I saw past his not so handsome face, and saw that he was a good man who I wanted to get to know better. Long story short, I did not get together with him. He had feelings for someone else.

I never dated him, we were just friends. I guess beauty is in the eye of the beholder. You see,... the guy I met some years later had a kind heart and his kindness and compassion is what attracted me to him.

I didn't really care what he looked like. In some ways those qualities made him more handsome. Yes, we have to be picky about what we want.

I believe that attraction comes when the heart sees the inner beauty of the other person. I hope this give you some insight. Sources: My experiences .

Take someone who is neither above or below you.. but equal to you. Someone that makes you happy, helps you.. be a better person, supports you, validates you, respects you, is happy for you when something good happens, someone you are compatible with. Some who cares about you when you are also sad and sick, someone who will be loyal and never abandon you.

Some people pick someone who is mean to them, since they don't feel worthy of someone nicer. You want someone who is honest, polite, tactful, is not too needy,considerate,trustworthy, helps you, considers your feelings too, fights fair, sees the best in you, prays to God, gets along with others and your family etc. I think it is a tall order. I will let God help me find and be this person.

It can be bad to be too picky. You may miss out on a wonderful relationship. And looks aren't everything.

Most of us probably want an attractive man or woman. That's just natural to be attracted to a good looking person. But you know the old saying, "Beauty is only skin deep."

As for the person being equal with your standards; I dated men who had money and men who didn't have a pot to pee in, as my grandmother said. I saw no big difference in the men as far as being men. One could take me places the other couldn't afford to.

But the less financially secure man took me on simple walks and picnics and we had a blast. Now my husband - I was not at all attracted to him when I first met him. He was that nice, quiet guy around the corner from me.

He wasn't at all what I usually looked at in a man. Not that he was ugly, more everyday I guess, but rather reserved. We started socializing in the same group and one day he asked me out.

We were married 6 months later much to the astonishment of many. I was told that 6 months wasn't long enough, he was military and I was not military wife material, he was too opposite from me. He is very much opposite me and yet we've been married over 20 years.Is he the handsomest man I've ever met?

No, but I'm no beauty queen myself. Is he the wealthiest? No, but we do well enough.

Does he agree with everything I say? Absolutely not, and we've had some real doozies! Yet, it works for us and I can't imagine him not being there for me.

So, try different fields. Don't limit yourself to one type or style. Variety is the spice of life.

Sources: Relationships, Dating, Personal, Standards Rio24's Recommendations Love Will Find You: 9 Magnets to Bring You and Your Soulmate Together Amazon List Price: $14.95 Used from: $6.05 Average Customer Rating: 4.5 out of 5 (based on 25 reviews) How to Get a Date Worth Keeping Amazon List Price: $14.99 Used from: $3.70 Average Customer Rating: 4.0 out of 5 (based on 26 reviews) .

I say, it's a numbers game This may be way too prosaic, but finding a mate is similar to job search. 10 resumes emailed will result in one call from an employer 10 calls will lead to one tech phone screening 10 tech screenings will result in one on-site intervew 10 interviews will get you one job offer 10 job offers will give you the one offer you like Of course, these numbers vary, and the better you are at the game, the lower the ratio, but they hold true to some people; for those, it makes sense to actually send 100,000 resumes! (an oversimplification, granted, and unrealistic, but let's leave it at that, it's just a metaphor) Same with dating.10 online profiles (in case of online dating) result in one reasonably interesting contact.10 contacts result in one date 10 dates result in one second date .... (omitting a part out of modesty) 10 relationships result in finding someone you love 10 loves result in finding The One.

Again, highly individual and highly unrealistic, for, besides dating, we also have other things to do... but you get the point. If your dating calendar is full, raise your standards. If you are alone on Friday nights, lower them, go out with a frog.

One, there is a non-zero chance of the frog turning into a prince; the two biggest loves of mine I would have never picked out on a dating site! Two, you'll have a good time, feel attractive, and that will rub off on you. Three, you'll learn to interact smoothly with the opposite sex, if you have not already.

So, what do you have to loose?.

If you are dating for entertainment, then if you feel like the person will entertain you, there is not much to be concerned about. But if you are dating to find a lasting relationship that could eventually become marriage - you have to ask yourself - realistically, is this person a good investment, a good fit, a good us of my time? Now that may sound a bit clinical and even rude - but really - why would you want to spend time pursing a relationship with someone you know from the outset is not going to make the final cut.

Granted, you could be a bit presumptuous. But should it matter? It is the whole package.

It is the humor, the personality, the sensitivity, the looks, the chemistry, the fun, the economics. I don't know how old you are, but I would suggest you make certain your prospective date meets most if not all your criteria. Granted you could be a little too restrictive - and if that is the case - then you may want to be a bit a more open minded.

But why? If you are looking for just the right person to invest your life into, why take less than you want, deserve, feel good about. Now let me warn you - what you see is NOT what you get.

You will eventually find Mr. Right. But for some reason, there is a high probability you both will be on your best behavior. And things change when the ring is on the finger.

So don't be too quick to believe. Give it a lot of time.18 months is a good run.It is hard to hide your true self for 18 months. So that is ANOTHER reason to pick wisely.

If you pick the wrong person for the wrong reasons and you wait the 18 months - now you are almost 2 years older. Time is a ticking. So Be careful at the front end.

Now you mentioned looks - specifically. I think there has to be physical chemistry between you. So if you look at the person and feel - ugh - then forget it.

But you don't have to feel AAAAHHH either. There can be a happy medium here. Remember, we all age.

And when you get a bit a older and your legs change, and your stomach pouches and all the other awful things that turn you from a gorgeous twenty something into a not so spectacular 40 something and older - you want MR. Wonderful to still love you. So there is lot's of room for grace here.

But I do think you want to feel comfortable looking at the person and feel proud when you show him around. He just does not have to match up with the latest and greatest superstar in the movies. There are not many of those any way.

Hope this helps..

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