If one's father is still alive, is one's mother's husband still considered one's stepfather?

I don't like my ex-wife's new husband referred to as my son's stepfather. I would rather he be referred to as his mother's husband rather than his stepfather. He already has a father - me.

What say the rest of you? Asked by FreddieC 35 months ago Similar questions: one's father alive mother's husband considered stepfather Family > Parenting.

Similar questions: one's father alive mother's husband considered stepfather.

He's the Stepfather Like it or not, he's the stepfather. That's just the way it works. If you want to refer to him as your former wife's second, or third, or fourth husband (whatever he is) then you can.

But he's also your son's stepfather. Having a stepfather in no way takes the place of having an irreplaceable, living, loving father. He will always be your son and no succeeding marriages can take that away from you.

I know this - that if you'll do everything in your power every day to be certain that your son knows that his own father loves him (and this goes way above and beyond paying child support), he'll be attached to you in deep ways that no stepfather could ever replicate. Call him daily and talk to him, when he's old enough, send him caring cards in the mail. Ask if he has enough, enough of anything.Do you have enough to eat today?

Do you have enough to wear? Is there anything at all that you need or want? I had a friend who used her very own child as a weapon against her former husband.

She did everything in her power to starve her former husband out of his relationship with their only child. Not only was she hateful to her former husband, she was hateful to their son. She used to put a mark on the gallon of milk and tell him that he couldn't drink the milk past that mark on the bottle.

He wasn't overweight - he was a healthy, growing boy who was a latch-key child after school beginning age 11. He was HUNGRY, that's all. She wasn't even a milk drinker!

Even though his father lived about three hours away, he called that child every single afternoon when he got in from school (mother, my friend, was at work) to be sure that he'd gotten in from school, to ask him how his day had been, to find out if he had any difficulties doing homework that afternoon, to see if he'd had something to eat - basically fathering the child over the phone. The little boy got to see his father the first and third weekends out of every month, and six weeks in the summer, every other major holiday, etc.The boy is now a grown man. He's well adjusted (in spite of his hateful mother), happily married, and is completely connected to his father and his father's wife (which is the boy's stepmother) and his father's extended family.

He is loved by all his father's family and he knows it. He sees his mother basically when he has to, calls her probably once a month out of guilt, if that often. I'm telling you this to tell you that step-parents in a child's life don't mean near what a biological parent can mean if the biological parent works at being a good parent.

The boy mentioned above, his stepmother was a good stepmother for him, she was actually a better stepmother than his own mother was a mother. That marriage between his father and his stepmother are what modeled healthy family life for this child, who would have likely been severely wounded growing up had he not had that consistent love to go to two weekends a month. So, get beyond names and titles, and get down to the serious business of loving your boy like there's no tomorrow.

You will reap benefits from here on out, and your boy will know that his father LOVES him!.

It varies Really its somethign you shoudl talk with your Ex about. But it will also depend on the age of your son. If you are active in his life and being a good father/daddy to him, then yes you are his fatehr and the other person is his stepfather.

If that man is not involved with him at all, then I woudl say he coudl be jsut refered to as his moms new husband, but if he is involved with the boy and trying to be a role model, then he is a step father. Sounds like you might be jealous of the other man. Don't be.As long as you are a postive and active part of yoru sons life, you will always be his daddy/father.

But be thankful that hopefully he has another man in his life to help him out when you are not there. Look at it that way. Please don't put your son on the spot over this.

If you got married how would you want him to refer to your new wife? As a step mom or just a woman you married? How would she feel?

Think about about lucky you are to have a good son and be able to enjoy the time you have and how blessed he is to have a daddy that cares about him and lovs him! I am my boys Dad/daddy/father, depending on the day and what they want or need, but I am not biologically related to any of them. I have adopted them.

And for some it was easier than others. Some rerally wanted a family and a dad.2 of them had a mom and did not want a new mom but really wanted a dad so that worked fine. Then 1 did not want a new family.

He wanted his old parents back. No matter how abusive & cruel they were to him, he loved them. Over the years he learned from them it was his fault that they beat him or did other things to him, because he was being bad and needed to be punished, beaten, or what ever.

He was beaten every time he wet the bed or had an accident from the age of 3 on. That takes a lot of time to try to heal and fix that. I have spent several years with him and he is a lot better now.

But still sometimes will lapse back. Esp if he is under stress from school or having other issues. He is a great kid, and I am hoping that as he grows the love he gets here daily and support will overpower and reprogram his brain over the crap his parents taught him.

He does call me dad now. When I told him I wanted to adopt him and make part of the family forever, he said "why, I'm no good.Im a bad kid and its my fault I lost my parents, so no one should want me. " He now understands that is not the case, but still is very hard on himself about any mistake he makes, and if he is not awake when its time to get up, he sometimes annouces his diaper is wet and asks for his spanking as he was trained to do.

I just grab him and hold him and tell him its ok, and its not his fault and he is a good kid. Luckily that is happening less and less from him, so I think its working. But it breaks my heart any time it does.

Life is what we make of it, and how you treat others comes back to how others will treat you. The old and Original Golden Rule. Good Luck and God Bless you and your family.

Sources: My life experiences and my thoughts as a single adopting/foster daddy with 5 fun loving boys ages 5-15 all with enuresis! GlacierWaterIsCold's Recommendations Raising Dad: What Fathers & Sons Learn from Each Other Amazon List Price: $15-153 Used from: $5-153 Average Customer Rating: 5.0 out of 5 (based on 1 reviews) Real Boys : Rescuing Our Sons from the Myths of Boyhood Amazon List Price: $16.00 Used from: $0.01 Average Customer Rating: 4.0 out of 5 (based on 118 reviews) Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys Amazon List Price: $15-153 Used from: $2.95 Average Customer Rating: 4.5 out of 5 (based on 109 reviews) Boys of Few Words: Raising Our Sons to Communicate and Connect Amazon List Price: $15-153 Used from: $5-153 Average Customer Rating: 5.0 out of 5 (based on 5 reviews) Self-esteem for Boys: 100 Tips for Raising Happy and Confident Children Amazon List Price: $14.45 Used from: $5-153 Real Boys' Voices Amazon List Price: $15-153 Used from: $0.01 Average Customer Rating: 4.5 out of 5 (based on 15 reviews) Father to Son: Life Lessons on Raising a Boy Amazon List Price: $5-157 Used from: $0.01 Average Customer Rating: 3.5 out of 5 (based on 22 reviews) Boyhood Daze: An Incomplete Guide to Raising Boys Amazon List Price: $5-157 Used from: $0.01 Average Customer Rating: 5.0 out of 5 (based on 11 reviews) Raising And Praising Boys Used from: $5-157 Playskool Guide to Raising Boys: Essential Information and Practical Advice for Raising Happy, Confident Boys Amazon List Price: $15-153 Real Boys Workbook: The Definitive Guide to Understanding and Interacting with Boys of All Ages Amazon List Price: $15-158 Used from: $0.50 Average Customer Rating: 4.5 out of 5 (based on 3 reviews) Here are a few books that might help you with your son. They might also help his stepdad help raise him right as well, so together you both can raise a dynamic son!

Think of it that way, instead of making it a negative with him and your ex..

Yes Yes, if a divorced mother remarries then the husband is now a stepfather. From wikipedia, "Traditionally, a stepfamily is the family one acquires when a parent enters a new marriage, whether the parent was widowed or divorced. " I know it must suck to have someone else refered to anything like father to your child.

But, unfortunately, he does have two fathers now. You are his real father though, and as long as you continue to spend time with him, love him, support him, and be involved in his life he will recognize that and your son will continue to see you as his real father. That is what really matters, not what other people think.

The painful part is that, if he lives with his mom, he really has to respect the new husband as a parental figure. For the good of your son you must find a way play nice and respect this man's place in your son's life. You don't have to step aside and let him be the father, just find an equiliibrium with the new family dynamic so that your son has a stable set of rules and expectations.

Just like you and his mother must respect each other's rules and boundaries, you will have to do so with this man too. If you undermine the stepfather's authority in the household, your son will not respect him and it will lead to behavioral issues. Sources: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stepfamily .

Stepfather vs.. Moms new husband It is not up to you to like or not like him unfortunately. He is the stepfather of the child and as a matter of respect he needs to be treated as such by a minor child. When a child reaches adulthood he can choose to accept the new spouse as a parent or not but for now he is the stepdad.

Sources: On stepmom # 3 .

Stepdad He would be his stepdad. He is not a replacement for you. You still need to be there for your son and be an important part of his life.

That is still on your shoulders, and by the question I think and hope you will do that. Please do not use the boy as a pwn to get back at yoru ex or her new husband. Your son needs you all to love him and support him and give him lots of love and attention and tickles too.

Too many parents like to use thier kids to get back at an ex, and it really hurts and can destroy the kids in teh long run. So be the best Dad you can be, and don't worry about the stepdad. If anyway possible make friends with him and that way your son will see that you care so much about him, you want to make sure that his step dad knows what is important to you in a positive way.

Its better to make it all work as smooth as you can for your son's sake. Take care and make sure to tell your son how much you love him every chance you get! Sources: my thoughts as a new single daddy to a 9 yr old boy fish4walleye's Recommendations Real Boys : Rescuing Our Sons from the Myths of Boyhood Amazon List Price: $16.00 Used from: $0.01 Average Customer Rating: 4.0 out of 5 (based on 118 reviews) Real Boys' Voices Amazon List Price: $15.00 Used from: $0.01 Average Customer Rating: 4.5 out of 5 (based on 15 reviews) Real Boys Workbook: The Definitive Guide to Understanding and Interacting with Boys of All Ages Amazon List Price: $16.95 Used from: $0.50 Average Customer Rating: 4.5 out of 5 (based on 3 reviews) These boosk were helpful for me and my son, maybe they will help you and yours as well.

You could even give a set to the stepdad, and tell him that the most important thing to you is your son and his happiness and well being and that you hope that as the stepdad he will respect that and show him the love and respect he deserves and that they might help him as well. Might break the ice and also make it easier for your son.

My husband has lost his taste - he can't taste anything & just eats to stay alive. Is there any solution or help? " "My father in law passed away and his wife won't move out of the house my husband owns" "So any ideas yet on what you plan on getting your father or husband for Fathers Day?" "my step daughter has brachydactyly but my husband does not and his ex wife does not...is it possible he isnt the father?

" "Can my single father gift me $13,000 in 2009 as well as my husband $ 13,000 in 2009 (we file jointly)" "who is considered the father of wireless communications? " "Can Step children draw SS. Off stepfather while on child support from Bio.

Father? " "My ex husband wants 50/50 custody. He is not a horrible father but not a great one either..." "My husband name is on the because but now his real father in prison wants to be apart of his life.

HOW? " "What do you do about a stepfather that thinks they can tell you what to do!

My husband has lost his taste - he can't taste anything & just eats to stay alive. Is there any solution or help?

My father in law passed away and his wife won't move out of the house my husband owns.

Can my single father gift me $13,000 in 2009 as well as my husband $ 13,000 in 2009 (we file jointly).

Can Step children draw SS. Off stepfather while on child support from Bio. Father?

My ex husband wants 50/50 custody. He is not a horrible father but not a great one either...

My husband name is on the because but now his real father in prison wants to be apart of his life. HOW?

What do you do about a stepfather that thinks they can tell you what to do!

I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.