If your best friend had recovered memories of childhood sexual abuse, how would you try to help her?

I'd listen without judgment, allowing my friend to express her emotions, fears, and/or anger. I'd be there for her. Does it really matter whether these are "real" memories?

They are real to her. She is dealing with the emotions that such trauma elicits, regardless. I would encourage my friend to work with a counselor experienced in dealing with both childhood molestation and repressed memories (I would leave it to a professional to determine whether the memories were real - I will assume that they are unless or until my friend indicates that she thinks they are not).

I have a friend who did not recover her memories of childhood abuse until she was in her late 30's, immediately after she married. As she (and her new husband) dealt with her memories and the emotional trauma, the betrayal of trust and other issues, her therapist recommended that she confront the family member who violated her trust. While the confrontation initially caused a huge rift in her family, her niece came forward and confessed that she, too, had been molested as a child by the same person.

Both women were ostracized by all but one family member, my friend's brother, a priest. He listened. He eventually helped both women come to a point of forgiveness (not for the perpetrator's benefit, he died shortly after the confrontation, but for their own benefit, to allow them to heal).

And he continued to provide a sense of family for both women, along with their husbands. So, yes. I would believe her.

I would guide her to the best possible professional resources and go with her, if she wanted. And I would do everything in my power to assist her in her healing.

Someone very close to me has been sexually abused as a child. After I found out I have been thinking of various ways to help. The ugly truth, however, is that in this situation it is extremely hard to help if you haven't experienced the same thing personally, because you simply don't understand how it feels.

One thing that definitely should never be done is to go behind this person's back and book him/her an appointment with a counselor. If you were trusted with this information, it was for your ears only and in no way you should be breaking the trust. Best option is to be patient and let your friend know that he/she has a shoulder to lean on.

Prepare to become a listener, not a talker. When your friend talks to you again about what happened (do not start this conversation yourself) and asks you for advise (if he'she does not ask for advice, don't give one) on how to go through with you can gently offer some of the following options: 1) Talk to a counselor who understands the issue 2) Seek justice and get the abuser punished by the law 3) Join a support group of people who had the same experience However, be careful with the advice you give, as it should stay as advice and not an order. Bottom line is everyone deals with pain differently and it may take some time, so there is no quick fix and it never completely goes away.

But simply being there for this person and listen can turn out to be the greatest help you can offer. There is also a number of good articles on the topic: aaets.org/article31.htm counselling-directory.org.uk/sexual.html reachuk.co.uk/Sex%20Abuse.htm livingwell.org.au/Childsexualabuse/Deali....

First, I would try to determine where those memories came from. Did they arise spontaneously? If so, they may actually be memories of something that she saw when she was young rather than something that happened to her.

If she has been seeing a therapist, it would be important to know if the therapist was qualified in such matters. Cases have occured where a therapist dropped hints and guided the person to memories that weren't real, but induced by the therapist. Last, I don't think the average person is qualified to offer much in the way of help except for offering their sympathy and friendship.

Past is Past. Though she recovered memories of that thing, nothing to worry about it. Just try to make her happy and forget about that thing.

No! Do no try to help her with this issue, you can make it worse if you are not qualified to deal with this. You have no obligation to play therapist...also it would be irresponsible on your part, if she has recovered memories this can be a good sign that her brain is ready to process these.

Our brains encapsulate memories to protect us from the pain they cause, in the same way a tumor encapsulates toxins or disease to protect the rest of the body. Our brains disconnect the pathways from traumatic memories making hard to access them in order to protect us from the pain, if she is remembering them now she may be in a position in her life to process them, no one can help a person with this. Your statement that "traumatic memories are hard to repress" tells me that you are not qualified to be helping your friend, traumatic memories are in fact the most easy to repress.It happens in a very physical way, there is nothing mysterious and magical about how we retrieve memories.

The worst thing you can do is question whether or not her thoughts are real. This is not the point. You obviously are a good friend for wanting to try to help.

You can help by doing some of the legwork of finding a therapist who is qualified to handle this. The last thing a victim of a sexual crime needs is for someone to deny their feelings.Do not try to be her therapist as hard as that is to do, this is not like helping a friend get over a break-up or something. You're delving into serious stuff here.

You can also help by doing research on your own and educating ourself about this situation....it looks like you are already starting to do that by posting on here..so congrats for being such a good friend. I wish your friend a successful resolution to her inner turmoil.

If those memories are still hurting her, I will help her to find a therapist. Abusiveness can hurt deeper. If the memories are hurtful, you need the professional help to handle them before they push you down to depression.

I would help her by finding the best clinical psychologist in the local area, one with the best recommendations and the experience to deal with your friend. And I would listen and be there for them but I wouldn't judge or question what they say, that's not going to help..... it's up to the doctor to determine if she suffers from FMS.

I would offer her a shoulder to cry on, an ear which will listen and not judge. And if she wanted to go to counceling I would go with her, support her in coping with her recovered memories. I had some pretty nasty repressed memories from when I was a little girl 3-5 and I remembered them when I was 16 and my mom wasn't sure if it were true but the psychiatrist was able to verify they were...they know how to get around 99% of those who are falsifying memories.

Good luck :).

I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.