Is anyone else totally creeped out by the idea of mail-order-brides?

On one hand, I understand that its a financial arrangement with poor young women from poverty-stricken countries who are looking for a better life in America, Australia, UK, etc,..... on the other hand it seems too close to sex slavery and the purchase of women as a commodity for comfort. Thoughts? Experiences?

Asked by GeminiWench 49 months ago Similar questions: totally creeped idea mail order brides Business > Financial Planning.

Similar questions: totally creeped idea mail order brides.

Big time Economically, it sounds like a good idea. Marriage has always been an economic arrangement rather than a romantic one, and it's only relatively recently in human history that "love" became the driving factor. There are still many places in the world where marriages are arranged.

But to even look at it in economic terms is anathema to a lot of people. It's too cold and too cruel. And the downsides are potentially really scary: a woman risks being in a country with no means of support and possibly poor language skills.

Maybe she's caught a lucky break, coming to the land of opportunity with a man who's rich enough to bring her here and merely socially awkward or physically unattractive, but kind at heart. Or maybe she's in deep, deep trouble. The agency who arranged it could have made all sorts of promises that they won't keep, and she won't have the tools to fight for herself.

A wise woman would be sure to have money of her own and language skills to enable her to function in the new country. There are plenty of people in foreign countries prepared to come here and lacking only the necessary visas. But others are simply so desperate to escape poverty that they may be leaping out of the frying pan and into the fire.

All I can do is grit my teeth and hope that it works out for the most desperate, because that's what "desperation" means. The one bit of good news is that rape is rape, even if it's your husband, and as long as she can get to the police and communicate with them he won't be able to abuse her. And that, unfortunately, is a chance every woman takes..

Perhaps foreign brides bring something to the table that American women can't or won't. And, if you're trading sex for security, wheather your a US citizen or not, it's still prostitution..

Fortunately, no experiences The idea seems rather odd. It’s not even like an arranged marriage where you can hope that the people doing the arranging are taking the preferences, habits and personalities of the prospective bride and groom into account (I know this didn’t always happen, but it seems more likely than through mail order). I feel sorry for the women who are willing to do this, but the whole idea is just odd.My favorite review of the whole mail order bride thing is in this column by Eric Snider.

Mistral's Recommendations Snide Remarks Used from: $5.50 .

Foreign Trade Deficit Hmmm--a self-described ’wench’ is concerned that woman are being treated as a commodity...? I don’t share the "creeped out" feeling, but I certainly understand it (and maybe I WOULD feel that way, were I a woman). Because, you’re right: these women are being marketed as a commodity. On the OTHER hand, woman have ALWAYS been treated as a commodity by men, as far as I can tell.To some degree, we ALL market ourselves as commodities, in trying to "sell" ourselves as a "good deal" to objects of our desire.

I realize this may seem cynical, but the traditional male-female partnership is born of the idea that HE will take care of her, if SHE will bear his children: trade-off. Anyway, as you note, these women are trading "up" in seeking a larger pool of relatively-rich eligible men. A mail-order bride is taking a leap of faith, but she will gain legal rights in this country (or the UK, Australia, etc. ) that she might not have enjoyed in her own.

If there’s anyone I feel sorry for, it’s the poor bastards in the old country, who are losing access to attractive women who have opted to "follow the money." +++++ As a side note, I think it’s sad that so many American (et al. ) men would rather "buy" a dependent woman from a poorer country, based predominantly on her looks, than take the trouble to find a wife HERE, who is better positioned to be his partner & equal. Still, good luck fighting shallowness, insecurity, and taking the easy road..

Not a big fan of it, either way. Just curious.

I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.