Is anyone out there crazy or getting crazy?

I'd say it's pretty normal. I mean depression is of course an illness but lots of people suffer from it and function with it. I had similar problems, though not for such a long time, I think it was something like 3 years, 4 at the most.

I was skipping classes and locked myself in my room and sometimes I was losing track of time completely, I could wake up in the evening, dress up and leave and only realise on the bus it's not daytime. I was doing a lot of stupid things and most of all I felt I wasted my potential. I was pretty gifted at school and it seemed like I can take literally any career path and be succesful but something broke during university.

I was blaming myself for not achieving anything yet and I really felt as if I have lost something. In the end I crawled out of it because I decided to grab onto things I really like and so I'm able to focus on. I always had problems in motivating myself to do things if it's no fun.

Well, I could do unpleasant things for others, but if it was for myself it seemed just stupid. I was watching a lot of Indian movies at that time, I started to review them on my blog, then go deeper in stuff they were about, finally I decided to quit current studies which were a mess and apply to Oriental Department. I will be defending my MA on Tamil language in few months.

I still have some bad times when I just lie in bed and think about weird things but I stopped panicking about it and started telling myself that it's okay to do that sometimes. Well, in the end I don't have any specific advice for You but I'm sure it's possible to find something You are able to devote Your time to creatively. There's nothing wrong with anime and games.

I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.