Don't convert until you leave Jordan. You will be killed eventually if you convert. I'd recommend moving to here in the U.S. This country is full of Christians.
We have hundreds of millions. Most of them bigots, so we need normal people like you to come here!
I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.