It's almost that time of year again, when my Christian family and I argue about Religion. Ah, holiday memories?

It's easy for me to say, but I think it would affect your daughter very badly if you sent her away. I imagine that she would see it as you rejecting her, punishing her, not understanding her, and not standing up for her. You say you don't have the greatest relationship now, well sure she's a rebellious teen and that's why she identifies more with dad, that's normal; basically kicking her out of the house will make this much, much worse and will be something she'll have to deal with for the rest of her life.

I personally feel that this would be skirting the real issue. Blended families are always very difficult no matter what the age of the kids. Teens are old enough however to understand what's going on.

You and your new husband need to sit down and hash this out, about what you are going to say when you sit these two down. You need to decide on ground rules, you need to talk about respect for each other as family, and so on. Once you've figured that out, sit the two of them down and get it all out.

They need to understand that related or not, they are now family. They need to understand the clear cut rules. Then you need to sit all 4 kids down and go over these rules with them.

I don't know how secret this relationship was, I assume all the kids know about it. You don't have to shame the two in front of their siblings, don't even mention it specifically, just explain appropriate behavior and how the two of you (you and your husband) are going to be a team. None of the 4 kids will be allowed to 'play' one against the other.

All decisions, rewards, and consequences will be decided on and meted out by the two of you jointly. And then follow through with that. I feel that sending your daughter out of the house will not teach her how to deal with real life situations such as this one.

It will teach her to avoid issues and run from problems and the other kids will learn this as well and see it as a weakness on the part of you and your husband. Instead, she and the other kids need to learn how to fix these sort of problems. They need to learn problem-solving and coping skills.

They will only be under your roof for a few more years, so this is your 'last chance' before sending them out of the nest...they need to fly and soar, not sink.

You shouldnt send your daughter away if she doesn't want to go. You need to step up & get everyone in a meeting. After laying down the law of what is or is not acceptable in your home, dismiss the other children but keep your stepson & daughter there to ask the hard questions.

Hold your stepson responsible for leading your daughter on & initiating whatever happened between them. If they are not capable of maintaining & respecting that they are family now & family don't become intimate with one another then consider having your daughter move. At their ages it so convenient to become lovers because they live in the same household & because they see one another as an attractive member of the opposite sex.

They don't think of one another as they would a blood relative but should respect one another as such. Its your job & your husbands to stress the importance of this or at least stress that they should be open & honest with you about wanting to date one another.

I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.