My boyfriend is good friends with his ex. How can I stop being jealous and suspicious, but I don't trust the other girl?

Okay, problem #1: The idea that "I don't trust the other girl". Who cares? The other girl isn't in a committed relationship with you.

You don't need to trust her, and she doesn't need to earn your trust. Your MAN has to earn your trust. Do you trust HIM?

Because if you honestly, deep-down-in-your-soul trust him, then it doesn't matter what Friend Girl does. He will reject her if she tries anything. Remember, she cannot FORCE herself on him.

If they were to cheat, it would be because he allowed it to happen. Forget her. She's not your problem.

She's not someone you can control. And she's not a factor in your life. So remove her from the equation completely!

Worry about your man. He IS in the equation. Now, to the task at hand.

Problem #2: the Ex. That's a tough one, because I know you always must worry about old feelings rekindling. Just remember to hold on to him loosely.

If you smother him with jealousy, it won't matter how he feels about his Ex, he just won't want to be around YOU. Do some inner exploration and soul searching. Do you really believe he will stay faithful no matter what?

Does he hide things from you? Does he act secretively? If so, then I'd consider that his heart is elsewhere and move on for your own sake (Don't waste time on a man who doesn't worship you!).

If not, then just "check in" and have some talks with him sometime. Ask if he thinks he's developing any romantic feelings for his friend, and if he says no, trust him. You need to take a leap of faith and trust someone at one point, so if he's earned it and if he's really a good man, give him the benefit of the doubt.

The second he lies to you though, toss the crumb bum out!

It is very healthy to remain friends with someone you once had a more intimate relationship with so, first you should admire his strength of character in being able to do this. Second, its not "her" you need to trust, it is HIM! If you truly trust him, you will have no doubt about his intentions and will know for a fact that, whatever happens, he is in a relationship with you and will not go backward, well why would he be with you otherwise?

If he wanted to be in a relationship with her, he would be, wouldnt he? Well, he's not, he's with you. Show that you trust him, do not have fits of jealousy, that will only contrive to push him away from you, and he probably would not go "back" to his old flame, but move on to something new and more comfortable.

Leave it be, make friends with her, and trust him.

(MOTIVES) Some guys stay friends with girls so that they can hookup with later/have someone around/ basically wrong reasons, and same with her too. I had an ex who wanted to keep me around because I was her fall back, even though she went for my friend, and thats were it has to end. That were it is a problem.

(GOOD FRIENDSHIP) There are also Good reason too. Like they were good friends before they dated and a relationship was not something that worked out for them, but a friendship does. If they are still able to be friends without any of the feelings of the relationship they had its all good, its just a friendship.

It can actually help you in the long run depending on how good the friendship is. Like when you have relationship problems its always easier to talk to the opposite sex, especially when you have a close friendship, conversations flow easier and a problem gets solved a little faster(well thats in my experience). Nothing is absolute especially dealing with ex's there is usually something unresolved, so is nothing 100% correct.

I think what might help ease you mind is to understand why they are friends now. If something seems off to you then you do have a reason to worry, and proceed with caution. On the other hand, it may be just a good friendship which is something that shouldn't bother you to much(Generally, just the normal relationship warning signs).

Check out sleepingcousins.com/is-it-okay-for-your-... for more info on this topic.

The real question is not do you trust the girl, but do you trust your boyfriend. The world is full of girls that may have their eyes set on your boyfriend. But whether it is a stranger or an ex, you have to decide if you trust the guy.

I would give him the benefit of the doubt until he does something that makes you NOT trust him. Too many girls push their "innocent" guys away by nagging them and being too jealous. Have you ever heard the term "If I'm going to do the time, I may as well do the crime"?

Tell him that you trust him and that you will continue to trust him until he proves he's untrustworthy. Besides, if he wants to be with somebody else, do you really want to be with him. Give him enough rope and if he's cheating on you, he will eventually hang himself and save you the effort.

I do not understand, why do you feel you need to stop being jealous and suspicious. I have a couple of ex-boyfriends and I do not think that it will be healthy to be friends with them. My husband has a couple of ex-girlfriends and he does not feel the need to be friends with them.Do not get me wrong, if I see one of my ex, I say hi to them.

My husband also says hi to them, because I introduce them to him. The same thing with his ex girlfriends. But, in my opinion, being Good Friends with an ex, is not good for the new relationship.

Talk (do not argue) to your boyfriend and let him know how you feel about this whole thing. You guys should be able to resolve this problem together. Just tell him that you do not trust the other girl.

I would not trust one of my husbands' ex, even if they were nuns. In the same way, he will not trust one of my ex, even if they say they were gay.

I would tell him that she sounds like a very interesting person. Suggest that you and your boyfriend have dinner with her (and her boyfriend if she has one) so that you can get to know her better. Maybe if you are included in their relationship you won't feel so vulnerable.

Good Luck!.

He havin an affair, take it from a man, all men are sleezes, he's bonin her as we speak! :-).

I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.