My wife's ex is living with us to get on his feet. I think they still have feelings for each other but have no evidence - do I ask them?

I understand exactly how you feel - you're constantly wondering what's going on and you're making yourself sick over it, losing sleep and losing focus at work... I've been there and trust me, it ended badly - you don't want to know. No way do you wait till "something happens between them. " By then the trust is gone and your marriage violated.

There's no need to ask if anything has happened. Man up and put an end to it BEFORE it happens. How long has he been in there?

If it's been more than a week, he's got to go TODAY. No - don't think about it - TODAY. So here's the solution: If he's been there less than a week, and if your wife is uncomfortable with him (like she says she is), tell her (seperately) that he has 1 week from TODAY to either B).

Get his stuff together, or B. ) it's time to go. You've been hospitable, but frankly he's worn out his welcome and it's time for him to find another place to stay.

Her reaction will tell you everything. However, no matter what her reaction is, HE NEEDS TO GO. Especially if he's been putting the moves on your wife.

Unacceptable - I've known lads who cracked skulls for MUCH less. Also, you need to get on the same page with your wife. You clearly trust her (which is very good), but she needs to agree with you that he's worn out his welcome.

You need to express to her that he's making you VERY uncomfortable and that it's affecting your relationship. When you talk to him, of course he's going to be all, "Aw man, I haven't done ___ yet and need some more time. " You need to say you understand, but it's time for him to find another place to go.

Give him the week, and when that's up, if he hasn't left, take his stuff to the door and put it outside. Wish him well and shake his hand, but it MUST be that way. And no, you're not being a bad person.

HE'S a terrible person trying to muscle in on your girl in your house. He's got to go brotha!

I disagree completely with his present being in your home. I do not think that letting him stay in your home till he gets on his feet is OK either. For whatever reason the two of them got divorced, therefor you should not be required to house her ex for any reason!

Do not give this situation any more room to grow on. Make him leave and tell your wife that if she really wants to help him then she needs to go also. I can not see where it would be healthy for your marriage in any way.

I also find it very demeaning on her part to even ask for him to stay. So maybe it would be a good idea to question her about her true feelings where the two of you are concerned. Be ware though asking a loaded question might have an answer that you might not be able to handle.

But, I would defenitly make him leave now! flickr.com/photos/carrietaylor/38725860.

This could be a very hard situation to get out of. What events led to you allowing him to stay in your house in the first place? Call me old fashioned, but I would make a point of making it at least slightly uncomfortable for him to stay with you.

Tell your wife that you don't like other people living in your home and give him a deadline to find somewhere else to go. If your wife won't go along with it (claiming your are being unnecessarily mean, of course), why not try giving him some money as he heads out the door?

This is my suggestion. Take note of all the ways that you react when you think that they have feelings for each other. I mean, everything.

How you treat her, how you treat him, and how you treat yourself. Notice how your body feels when you think that thought, for example, you might feel a tight, clenching sensation in your gut or jaw. Now, after you've done that, just temporarily pretend that you couldn't think that thought.

Pretend for a moment that it's impossible for you to think that they have feelings for each other. And again notice how you would be and react when you think of them, see them together, etc. This isn't to get you to believe one way or another what they feel for each other. But doing this exercise can help you notice things you might not have noticed before.

It may help you see where you could be exaggerating some things or minimizing others. Sometimes when we believe something we do not see clearly.So it can be good to view the situation in our minds both with and without the thought(s) that can be clouding the issue. For example, you might see that when you believe that they still have feelings for each other that you unconsciously behave in a way that actually pushes them together!

But when you imagine how you'd react with the thought you might find yourself doing more loving things for your wife that helps her draw closer to her, rather than push her towards him. Just notice how you react with and without that stressful thought.

Beleive me if you think about these thing in a very deep manner to core fully open minded Maybe you just wouldnt bother and be happy.

WoW Im waiting for the bomb to drop. Its never a good thing to to have your current wifes ex living with you. Your gut is usually right but don't ask me im on my 4th wife.

And two of those exes wanted to sleep with my brother . So get your head right, walk to the deep end of the pool and lets dive in. Has your intimate life changed .

Did you give a time limit on how long he can stay? You can check up on them without them being too suspicous. Come home unexpectatdly.

Try insisting that she go to bed with you. If she puts up a fight then maybe shes having second thoughts about him and doesn't know how to tell you without hurthing your feelings. In the long run prepair yourself .

I think if she really loves you then she should get him out. Hes a big boy Their are all kinds of temp jobs he could be doing not waiting in the house for a job to land in his lap. You are the man of the house and that needs to be respected.

I think its something that should be addressed with your wife before it gets out of hand. It does not matter if she is or is not doing something wrong, but how the situation of having her ex living with you two is making you feel. Make sure when discussing it, you do so with her only, and do not accuse her of doing anything wrong, just let her know how the situation is making you feel, and let her know that you trust her, and are not trying to accuse her of any wrong doing, but that you feel uncomfortable with the way things are now and just wnated to bring it to her attention.

That way she understand, and can feel more open to discuss whats going on with you with out feeling cornered.

I believe that this could be an unhealthy situation to find yourself in. There may not be anything going on but they have a past and they both need to move on. Not sure what would have caused you to agree to the ex moving in, but maybe it is time to call the living arrangement off.It is hard enough being in a relationship without having her past hanging out all day with her while you are out working or going to school.

I would be asking him to move on. Do not wait until you have been betrayed, That will only cause more problems and probably an end to the relationship.

I think you should talk to your wife. Let her know how you are feelling. It's not a comfortable feeling and I'm sure if the shoe was on the other foot she would bring it to your attention.

I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.