Should I cut my mom out of my life for disrespecting my wife and my late father's dead mistress?

On your mother's relationship with Barbara's family, it's about the relationship between your father & your mother. You & no one can know why either choose the actions they did. While I normally don't condone cheating in any way, I have to wonder if there isn't more to this - given your mom's attitudes in life.

So leave that for the involved parties to deal with. It's not up to you to heal anyone or judge them or feel worry over the feelings of those who have passed on. On what to do with your mom, I was at a lost of words.

Trish's ideas sound good. The problem there seems narrowly to be that your wife & now you are Jewish. For your mother to not attend your wedding over it - it is ridiculously deep rooted.

You can try talking to a counselor or I'm not sure who, to bounce off ways of asking you mom what her issues are with Jews. I did say asking. First you have to hear, in order to even begin to understand or address something.

You may decide it's better to drop it & back away from her. I suggested talking to someone because it will take exploring your own thoughts & ideas with some work invested before you can calming approach your mother. If you reach failure right at the point of asking, go no further.

If you get any good data you think can be shifted, then start the talking with a counselor (or life coach or anyone not close to you who will do it with complete patience) for a few sessions again. Talk to your mother & again if it fails, give it up. If at any point this is more work than it's worth.

Give it up. I have encountered a lot of haters, some personally, some online. I've found deeply seated ones, it's not about Jews or any topic, but some need for power in their lives that's completely twisted into too crazy to make a dent.

Even when it's only mildly expressed, some of the haters are of this variety. Some people hate because they were taught to, but when given better data they improve. I wouldn't bet my own money that your mom is one of these.

However, she may be once you ask her what her issues are with Jews. She may have some pile of "crazys" of ideas in her head that can be addresses. Don't ask her directly to stop hating, only address the issues she brings up.

Good luck. It's okay to keep only the people who add to your life, in your life.

May I suggest you consult your rabbi, lest I give you the Christian perspective that you may not want. Dissolving this root of bitterness within your family is going to take some work; your mother may be unable to change. Many blessings upon you and your wife for a long and prosperous marriage.

I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.