The dad in law tells son what to do and not even bother to ask me? I am his wife?

Your right about one thing, equalness is what balances the scales of family Justice! I take it it's his sisters kid,that is what he see's as a closer relationship or he owes sis big time (guilt) and maybe it's you who they see as pushy' drama? Have you evaluated yourself & are you perhaps missing something?

Maybe you somehow distant them? Their brother they may see as you taken him from them & they see/feel him distance,not like it use to be? There's more sides too all story's to be fair it could be you who don't see things through their eyes?

If your perfect (lol) well just don't see it as them being perfect all ppl have weak points & we all need to grow. Leave it be,don't make waves & don't see it as you being the injured party, let it go & know you did what your suppose to be doing,don't slack on the little ones & as they see how much a bigger person you are for not being small of it all,they will start seeing the error's of their ways. If they do not then,they are the losers!

Let them be the defects,not you & yours,be better then they & take the high road,you'll have nothing on your back..k? Let it go adding~If anything good comes out of all of this...is your little man will be so proud that you are better then they & he will be a better man..isn't that the most importance thing of all? Showing/acting out in ways we can better ourselves & our world?

Example,no pay backs because kids always are the ones who lose & get hurt..k? Or move all down to Jerry's kids...and swing it out! Jerry Springer/Swinger's that is...is dat wut you wnt?

Lol..see how hate manifesto's? It's getting down right petty now..let them be who they will,you be bigger! Or the kids repeat & their lives become small.

Sit that husband down one more time and explain to him that your son is being hurt by his family's callous disregard for his feelings. They are the ones who are doing wrong by letting this show. It's one thing to have a party for your own child and not for your brother or sister's child--that is expected.

And not every child gets a party. BUT--to be as blatant about playing favorites in front of your child is just cruel. I would not cut ties--your husband will not stand for that, apparently.

And maybe he is siding with them because he doesn't want to cause more problems. But if they invite you to their homes so they can deliberately snub your son then you can refuse to go. You can't force them to be closer or care more, but you can act as if it does not bother you so your son doesn't feel the pain doubly--from them AND you.

And if they can't accept that then too bad. And don't encourage your son to expect anything from this nervy bunch. They aren't gonna give it.

What a shame.

I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.