What are some really funny Christmas poems?

I found a funny "twas the night before christmas" poem a few years back. I changed the words around so it would be about me and my Chihuahua Lola and sent it out to some friends. This is a classic poem that can be easily altered for fun and humor!'Twas the night before Christmas' And all through the house... Not a creature was stirring Since Lola ate that mouse.

My fish-nets were hung By the chimney with care. (I hung them last Christmas And just left them there.) My Chihuahua Lola, was nestled All snug in her bed, After watching the cat rip The presents to shreds. And I in my long johns And ratty night cap Had just settled my butt For a long winter's nap.

When out on the lawn There arose such a clatter, I swore at the window, "What the hell is the matter?" I tore open the window, Not a second to tarry, All ready to throw The noisemaker a berry. A bright moon was lighting The new-fallen snow... And I had a moon of my own Set to show.

Lola was beside me, Paw pointing the way Toward eight tiny reindeer .. And a little old driver So cheery and quick, I thought for a moment That I would be sick. Like a bat out of hell, And I whistled and shouted And called them some names-- " Hornhead! Furface!

Weiner and Turkey! Yo, Klutzy and Mangy And Venison Jerky! Stay off of my porch!

Get away from my wall! Now hit the road, hit the road, all! But as pedestrians before My old Buick, they fly And head for high ground With great fear in their eyes, So up to my rooftop The fleabags they flew, With a sleigh full of toys And old Fruitcake-breath too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof Holes in my new shingles Made by each tiny hoof.As I reached for my slingshot And a marble as well, Down the chimney St. Nicholas Tumbled and fell. He had a huge sack of Cheap junk on his back And I whispered to Lola, "Be prepared to attack. " s eyes they were squinting, And I felt for a moment Like I'd soon be gaggin'.

He was dressed all in red. With a bell on his hat. And a belt of black leather To hold back the fat.

A billowing pipe He clenched tight in his smile, The smell was like something Had been dead for awhile. He had a broad face And a little round belly That shook when I nailed him With a handful of jelly. He was chubby and plump, Unable to budge.

And he tasted good , too, If the dog was a judge. I spoke not a word But went straight to my work-- A noogie, a wedgie, A cry of "You jerk! " Until laying a finger Aside of his nose, With a loud cry of "Uncle!"

Up the chimney he rose. He sprang to the sleigh And dragged in the toys, Then he cried to the reindeer, "Get me out of here, Boys! " And I had to exclaim As a slush ball I tossed, "Happy Christmas to all, And to all a Get Lost!"

But then, as I turned, I saw 'neath the tree Two gaily wrapped presents-- One for Lola, one for me. A big bag of jerky Turned Lola mighty chipper, While for me was a pair Of brand-new bunny slippers. I looked out the window, And hovering there, Old Santa was winking From his sleigh in midair... "Merry Christmas, Jeanne!"

He cried, full of cheer, "Same to you, Pal! I'll get you next year!

I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.