What are the financial responsibilities of the groom's family at a Hindu wedding?

What are the financial responsibilities of the groom's family at a My son's fiancee is Indian but we are not. The only weddings we are familiar with are American, mostly Christian but some Jewish. For our daughter's wedding the groom's family paid for the rehearsal dinner which included the wedding party, their guests and out of town family members.

I believe they also paid for my daughter's bouquet and the groomsmen's boutonnières. It seems that we are expected to pay for quite a few more things but I can't seem to get any real information from her family. We want to respect their traditions but we were not prepared for all of this.

I am looking for some guidelines on what is expected of the groom's family in ndu weddings in this country. Thanks for any help you can give me. Asked by Baylierose 30 months ago Similar questions: financial responsibilities groom's family ndu wedding Lifestyle > Weddings.

Similar questions: financial responsibilities groom's family ndu wedding.

Inform reader on financial responsibilities of the groom's family at a ndu Marriages in Modern SocietyIn arranged marriages the marriage is consummated through elaborate ceremonies presided over by a Vedic priest well versed in Vedic mantras. The marriage date is fixed after consulting the astrological charts and then invitations are sent. Before the marriage date, both the parties spend a lot of time in preparation and exchange of gifts.

On the marriage day, the bride and the bridegroom and relations on both sides assemble in a public auditorium or a temple premises, or in the house of the bride's parents and participate in an elaborate ceremony conducted by a priest. The marriage ceremony is generally a lengthy affair. A lot of vedic mantras are chanted during the ceremony, while a band plays on in the back ground.

All the guests are entertained with food and beverages. Meat and alcohol are not generally served during such ceremonies, except in some communities. In the last part of the ceremony the bridegroom ties a sacred thread (mangalsutram) or a gold necklace around the bride's neck with three knots, accepts her hand in marriage (panigrahanam) and then takes seven steps (saptapadi) together with her, uttering vows of friendship, loyalty and righteousness.

After this both of them play some traditional games between themselves to lighten the atmosphere and provide entertainment to the guests. This is followed by a gift ceremony during which the couple acknowledge the gifts brought by the guests for the their wedding. The marriage rituals usually vary from region to region and caste to caste.

However following are some of the most common and popular rituals. Sources: hinduwebsite.com/hinduism/h_marriage.asp .

The groom's family bears the cost of jewelery and reception party. In India, many of the communities believe in Dowry system in which the bride's parents have to offer some amount of money to the groom's family. However, few of the communities don't indulge in these practices as they are banned by law in India.

If you are planning to perform the marriage the you might be asked to keep some gifts and money by the bride's parents in a proper separate ceremony. However, it's completely on the wish of the parents of the bride whether they want to do it or not. Maybe a consultation with them in this regard will help- whether they follow the dowry system.

People generally don't take dowry as a good thing and if the girl is from a good family, you must ask it in a polite and inquiring tone rather than a demanding tone. You will have to probably arrange for the jeweleries for the bride (again depending on what community she comes from). You can check for jeweleries for Indian wedding on any jewelry store.

You will have to talk to the Bride's family beforehand to ascertain that it is your responsibility to get the jewelries. These require quite a lot of money as jewelries used in Indian wedding are MOSTLY GOLD!...You might have to arrange the reception party at your own expenses (The party after the marriage). The expenses can be shared or else if you can bear it all by yourself, it is even better.

Sources: My opinion .

1 I don't know the answer to your Q with certainty, so I will stay here on the DB. I can tell you that whereas typical American weddings can be 1-day affairs or 1-day plus a dinner affairs, traditional Indian weddings can be week-long partying with a lot of family members. Parts are paid for by the groom's and the bride's father; but, often most expenses are split down the middle in modern Indian weddings.

Financial ability to pay clearly is a factor. I think you will need to have a candid talk with your son about financial realities. He, in turn will need to speak with his fiancee who will need to speak with her parents.

The couple-to-be will need to do some extra work bridging cultural understanding. It is unclear to me whether the bride's parents live in the US or in India. I think both families need to present their expectations--what will take place and who will pay for it--and then the couple needs to help with the negotiation and finalization of what is incorporated into the wedding ceremony (over the week) and what isn't.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ndu_wedding#Modern... can give you a high level overview. But, in India, rituals vary by region. It will therefore be a function of where the family is from.

See some of the websites below. One compromise--which you will not like--might be you pay for all the normal American rituals and traditions; they pay for parallel Indian practices, and celebrations. If they live or have family in India, this could mean 2 separate wedding ceremonies--one you are familiar with that you finance and another week-long extravaganza paid by them in India.

I am fairly certain that the bride's family pays for most of the wedding in India. If they are Americanized, they are probably aware of American traditions and expectations. If they are not, their daughter needs to help acculturate them.

This will not be a welcome solution for you, as you probably were hoping to only pay for a dinner. I am guessing the wedding needs to be organized and designed by whoever is paying for it. Sometimes, in situations like this, especially when parents are not as open-minded as you seem to be, the couple needs to take control of the "wedding" and design and finance it.

This will probably not be a traditional Possibly contrary to the bride's parents' desires, she did not marry a Therefore it is unreasonable to assume this will be a 100% Similarly, it would be incorrect for you to assume this is a "typical American wedding". It iwon't be. Both sides will need to compromise on things and both sides will need to be as flexible as possible here.

After all, this is supposed to be about celebrating the vows of your children and giving them as happy a "kick-off" as possible with this celebration. Askville has had participation from Indian participants in the past. I hope they weigh in.

You may want to reach out to the Indian community where you live for a first hand education. Here are a few quotes from the first link below:-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------"Agreed. 50 50 all the way.

Indians living outside india are living in the dark ages. With 'Tradition'....."-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------"Everything we doing we are spliting between the two families expect for the following:Jaan/Baraat music – groom side paidMakeup/hair – bride side paidPriest - bride side paidGarba musicians – groom side paidthe food & hall was split according to the # of people from each side. "-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------"traditionally the girls side pays for the wedding and then the reception may be paid by the groom's side.

But in this day and age, people usually split the cost. My parents insisted on paying for the wedding and reception and my husband's side paid for things like photographer, etc. But the nice thing was that my in-laws sincerely offered to pay for half of everything. For the baraatis stay...i think that also differs from state to state and family to family.

My in laws refused to have us pay for them. But I think from seeing previous posts, many people either demand or expect it. We basically invited my in-laws close family members a few days before the wedding and had a nice dinner party.

We also hosted the baraatis for lunch before the wedding started. "-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Other sources: http://www.weddingforums.in/who-pays-for-what-t3.html ; http://hinduism.about.com/od/matrimonial1/a/wedding_rituals.htm ; http://weddings.iloveindia.com/index.html ; http://aprendizdetodo.com/wedding/ ; http://www.weddingdetails.com/lore/hindu.cfm .

I don't know the answer to your Q with certainty, so I will stay here on the DB. I can tell you that whereas typical American weddings can be 1-day affairs or 1-day plus a dinner affairs, traditional Indian weddings can be week-long partying with a lot of family members. Parts are paid for by the groom's and the bride's father; but, often most expenses are split down the middle in modern Indian weddings.

Financial ability to pay clearly is a factor. I think you will need to have a candid talk with your son about financial realities. He, in turn will need to speak with his fiancee who will need to speak with her parents.

The couple-to-be will need to do some extra work bridging cultural understanding. It is unclear to me whether the bride's parents live in the US or in India. I think both families need to present their expectations--what will take place and who will pay for it--and then the couple needs to help with the negotiation and finalization of what is incorporated into the wedding ceremony (over the week) and what isn't.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ndu_wedding#Modern... can give you a high level overview. But, in India, rituals vary by region. It will therefore be a function of where the family is from.

See some of the websites below. One compromise--which you will not like--might be you pay for all the normal American rituals and traditions; they pay for parallel Indian practices, and celebrations. If they live or have family in India, this could mean 2 separate wedding ceremonies--one you are familiar with that you finance and another week-long extravaganza paid by them in India.

I am fairly certain that the bride's family pays for most of the wedding in India. If they are Americanized, they are probably aware of American traditions and expectations. If they are not, their daughter needs to help acculturate them.

This will not be a welcome solution for you, as you probably were hoping to only pay for a dinner. I am guessing the wedding needs to be organized and designed by whoever is paying for it. Sometimes, in situations like this, especially when parents are not as open-minded as you seem to be, the couple needs to take control of the "wedding" and design and finance it.

This will probably not be a traditional Possibly contrary to the bride's parents' desires, she did not marry a Therefore it is unreasonable to assume this will be a 100% Similarly, it would be incorrect for you to assume this is a "typical American wedding". It iwon't be. Both sides will need to compromise on things and both sides will need to be as flexible as possible here.

After all, this is supposed to be about celebrating the vows of your children and giving them as happy a "kick-off" as possible with this celebration. Askville has had participation from Indian participants in the past. I hope they weigh in.

You may want to reach out to the Indian community where you live for a first hand education. Here are a few quotes from the first link below:-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------"Agreed. 50 50 all the way.

Indians living outside india are living in the dark ages. With 'Tradition'....."-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------"Everything we doing we are spliting between the two families expect for the following:Jaan/Baraat music – groom side paidMakeup/hair – bride side paidPriest - bride side paidGarba musicians – groom side paidthe food & hall was split according to the # of people from each side. "-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------"traditionally the girls side pays for the wedding and then the reception may be paid by the groom's side.

But in this day and age, people usually split the cost. My parents insisted on paying for the wedding and reception and my husband's side paid for things like photographer, etc. But the nice thing was that my in-laws sincerely offered to pay for half of everything. For the baraatis stay...i think that also differs from state to state and family to family.

My in laws refused to have us pay for them. But I think from seeing previous posts, many people either demand or expect it. We basically invited my in-laws close family members a few days before the wedding and had a nice dinner party.

We also hosted the baraatis for lunch before the wedding started. "-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Other sources: http://www.weddingforums.in/who-pays-for-what-t3.html ; http://hinduism.about.com/od/matrimonial1/a/wedding_rituals.htm ; http://weddings.iloveindia.com/index.html ; http://aprendizdetodo.com/wedding/ ; http://www.weddingdetails.com/lore/hindu.cfm.

" "I need to know what are the roles in the family in a hindu marriage" "I'm a wedding minister and I need a microphone and amplifier so I can be heard at weddings (many of which are outside). " "Are weddings in hawaii the best?

I need to know what are the roles in the family in a hindu marriage.

I'm a wedding minister and I need a microphone and amplifier so I can be heard at weddings (many of which are outside).

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