There is no single right way to handle intimate-partner abuse. Each woman must decide what is best for herself and her family. However, if you decide to seek legal protection, know that batterers can be prosecuted for crimes such as assault.
In addition, special laws protect battered women in all fifty states. These laws are consistent from one state to another. The laws that protect battered women enable you to go to a local court and obtain an immediate protection order against the batterer.
Orders of protection—often called restraining orders or protection-from-abuse orders—can provide different kinds of protection. They can order the batterer to stay away from you and your children and give you legal custody of your children. They can order the batterer to pay support.
You can obtain protection orders even when you continue living with your abuser. Laws affecting women in lesbian relationships vary from state to state.In addition to abuse prevention orders, all states have anti-stalking laws. Recognizing that women are often at greater risk immediately after leaving the batterer, these laws impose criminal sanctions against a batterer who continues to harass you or stalks you.
Some batterers are intimidated enough by the legal system to be stopped by a court order. If this is the case for your batterer, a restraining order may bring you some safety. However, the tendency toward violence is so deep-seated in some batterers that no court order will stop them.
They may become violently enraged by what they see as a betrayal. In these instances, going to court may actually make you and your children less safe. An advocate in your local domestic violence organization may be able to help you decide whether to get a restraining order.
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