What do I do if a guy I like is lying to me about his drinking problem? How do I approach it? We aren't dating but he is interested in me?

Trust in yourself....You already know the answer to this question. You said it in your question actually when you said.... "But I am not interested in someone who lies to me about anything... much less a drinking/ drug problem" Sounds like you know what to do, you just need a little encouragement. There is probably a part of you that thinks you can change him....you can not.

Only he can change himself and sometimes losing someone can actually be the catalyst or the wake-up-call for change. The best thing you can do in this situation is to completely remove yourself from the situation, you do not need to sit him down and have a big talk like many here are suggesting, what would be the purpose of that?... to make him feel bad for drinking and lying? No, having a heart-to-heart with someone who lies is not necessary.

You should never tolerate anyone treating you with such disrespect. Respect yourself and recognize how wonderful of a person you are for even thinking about giving this guy a chance. Also recognize that you do not need to invite drama into your life, it is about self respect on the most basic level.

You deserve better, and I can assure you there are many, many fish in the sea. He is not in a position where he is ready to give you what you deserve and that is respect and truth. End this immediately, do not engage him, you will only make him angry if you spend too much time trying to explain what the issue is.

He knows he is lying and he knows he drinks and does drugs, the question is not about weather or not he abuses drugs it is about weather or not he abuses you... and yes lying is considered verbal abuse. Congratulations on recognizing the red flags immediately, most people don't catch these things until their lives are already so entwined that it becomes very difficult to get out of. Do something great for yourself and begin to eliminate the people in your life who do not treat you right and you will be the happiest person you know.....I did this a few years ago and I now live a drama free life it is so wonderful.

Best of luck.

Don't date anyone that you know is lying to you. You are just asking for a whole host of problems. You can; however, invite him to talk to you about his issues.

Give him an opportunity to come clean. If he tells you the truth then you have a better platform in order to make a decision on whether you can date him. If he continues to lie then run for the hills.

When you have your conversation you can tell him how you feel as well. Be open and be honest yourself!

Nip it in the bud now and cut all ties with him. It is a troubled life waiting to happen when you get involved with people that have drinking and or drug problems.

Drinking beer is not a drinking problem. However, if he says he had a drinking problem he probably did. Very few people have real drinking problems and then recover enough to drink normally.

When it happens it's usually a matter of many years passing, ie. , someone who drank too much in their wild youth but settled down in middle age. There are probably some people who describe minor bad habits as problems.

Maybe you should get him to give you a lot more detail about what he meant by problem drinking and what he means by not doing it any more. Same goes double for drugs, was it just cannabis or something more dangerous? Whatever the worst he says about himself is, that's probably the way you can expect him to be unless he is talking about decades ago.

Don't think you can magically change anyone.

If this guy likes you and you already know that he has a drinking problem, you need to turn around and RUN! It is nice to think that you could do something to change him but that is unrealistic. An alcoholic is one for many reasons.

You can pick any at random, but it doesn't change the fact that he is an alcoholic. When an alcoholic enters the lives of innocent citizens (your home, your children's lives, etc) it can only destroy. I know.My ex-husband destroyed our marriage, our finances, my credit, my children's peace, etc. The worst thing is that even though we have been divorced for a few years now, his effects are still happening.

No child support, no insurance for the kids, no contact with the kids.My kids don't ever want to hear from him again, and that is a good thing since he doesn't care anyway. Even if you tell this guy that he would have to stop drinking, he could pick it up again at any time. I didn't even know that mine was a drinker much less an alcoholic.

We dated for 2 years before getting married and in that time we might have split a beer less than 3 times. So for 2 years he was on his best behavior, married me and then one week after the honeymoon picked up where he left off. RUN You have to handle this without worrying about hurting his feelings.

Tell him the facts. The facts as you know it are : -you and others have seen him drinking and buying alcohol. - -He lied to you about it.

-you said that you cannot live with someone who lies to you about anything. Tell him that. Don't worry about his feelings, just be honest, give him the facts, and tell him to leave you alone.

Trust me, he will find someone who "loves" him and who will tolerate his lies and habits. Who knows they may even support him before it is all said and done.

I think you would feel better in the long run if you just brought it up and addressed the problem clearly and firmly. If you are not interested in being with him because of his lies (and I can't blame you for that), but he is saying he is not moving away just to be close to you, you need to tell him how you feel. Whether he is lying or not, he should know that he is arranging his life for an outcome that will never come about.

Tell him the truth and do it soon. There is no reason to drag this out if you know how you feel.

Boy that's a bad one. Not sure what I'd do. Not trying to win best answer, just wanted to say I feel for you!

Sounds like you really like this guy somehow. Yet, I feel like you're hoping he change; or else leave. I guess the best way is to be direct about it.

Possibly refer him to someone who can help him, or maybe just focus on something else. In the end of the day, you're living your own life and it's your choice to make your own move. Majority would feel sorry for you though, so that says a lot enough to me.

I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.