What forms of discipline are appropriate to use for toddlers and preschoolers? What works best from your own experience?

Wow, this is really similar to a question I answered at Yahoo! Answers once. I got Best Answer there and further private emails about how well it worked.

The answer explained that what I have found best for this age group is using one-on-one, special, fun, positive time between you and the child, in a regular way, as currency. I've found that this fun, attentive time is something that even a small child will be able to consider the consequence of losing, if they are about to do something they know is really wrong and have been warned to stop. I think I'd better give you the exact same text as I provided there, in case I don't explain it so well this time!

Here's the text from my answer and the link: ____________________________________ (Question) ____________________________________ How to Discipline a 2.5 year old? I have a 2.5 year old girl and a 5 year old girl. Both a very different kids.

We're having problems disciplining our youngest daughter - nothing seems to work for her - time out, chastizing, taking things off her.... Her sister was so much easier she hated time out and still does. She understands naughty - as she came out of her room this morning and told me that she was naughty - when I asked why she took me in and showed me where she'd drawn pictures on her walls with a pen she found somewhere. She's also very opionated - she walked past her father on the weekend and told him he was stupid.

I'm really running thin on ideas of how to punish her for her naughty behaviour..........Please help. I do the thing where I get down to her level and try and explain simply that it was naughty and wrong etc. And she is definatly made to apologise when she hurts or speaks in a naughty manor.2 years ago __________________________________ (Answer) __________________________________ by Johanna D Member since: 15 January 2008 Total points: 545 (Level 2) Best Answer - Chosen by Asker This is a difficult age. I think the most difficult thing is they will do a lot of different "naughty" things for the first time; and it's hard for them to group their behaviour into the category of "good" or "bad" until they have done a certain behaviour once and seen how you view it.

I wouldn't even worry about "naughty" things they have done for the first time. Explain why it is wrong, explain that it makes somebody sad or how it makes a problem, and if you've told her this is wrong before, give the punishment that has worked best so far and forget it unless it keeps happening. Don't punish if it is the first time.

Even the best kids may do every naughty thing just once. For habitual behaviours that are causing the most problems, Can you group the behaviours that are similar, so that she can understand and learn that all things like this are naughty? For example, she probably won't draw on the walls again after this experience, or tell her dad he is stupid, but I'm sure she will call somebody something else for example.

Can you group the biggest problem behaviours and concentrate on those? For example: -Calling people mean words or names is naughty. -Taking her sister's things away if her sister is using them is naughty.

(if she does that) - (but make sure your bigger girl understands that sharing something with her little sister is very important, the kid can't wait ages; maybe she can learn to let the little one use it for a minute then give it back?) -Speaking rudely to you is naughty,which she probably mostly does when you are asking her to do something she doesn't want to, etc? You can make it easy for her by helping her understand that the only good thing to do when mummy or daddy is telling her what to do is do what mummy or daddy says. (And at this age, don't ever expect them to do this the first time... just continue telling them what to do if they say "i don't want to" or grizzle a little the first couple times you say it.It's just expressing feelings. But no matter what don't let them get out of doing it after a few moments; and teach them that to say something not nice, yell or stamp, or say "No" is the wrong thing.

) Obviously I'm sure you praise her if she does what you want quickly . Raise your eyebrows, give a huge smile and say "You are being such a big girl! Big girls do what mummy says and don't cry!

Wow!" and kiss/hug. Once you have begun to help her concentrate on the few biggest problem behaviours, I would suggest using some special regular consistent one-on-one time with you or her dad that she loves as a bargaining tool. ( Well not a bargaining tool... a reason to behave well!) This is a very,very powerful reward that kids hate to have taken away, I believe even more than toys etc. Does she love reading stories with you at the end of the day or perhaps in the middle of the day also before her nap?

Catch her in the moment she is doing one of the major misbehaviours - "If you say no again, we can only have a cuddle and no story for your nap.Do what mummy says and mummy can read a nice story with you! " They will rarely give up one-on-one time or a one-on-one game with a parent. And if she doesn't listen, DON'T BACK DOWN AT SPECIAL TIME!

Remind her "We cant have stories today because remember? You were saying no to mummy. After your nap be a good girl, don't say no to mummy and we can have nice stories tonight at bedtime if you be a good girl."

Just use this to manage the few worst behaviours. You don't want to take away this time for too long a period. Having it, even if you don't use it as a bargaining tool or anything, will enhance their ongoing behaviour because it gives regular special attention they crave and reduces many wrong behaviours which will occur when kids don't have this kind of time with parents.

Good luck! Asker's Rating: Asker's Comment: Oh this worked a treat - tried it last night with her as she flat out refused to eat her dinner - so know bed time story - she got very upset - lets see if she eats all her dinner tonight! Thank you.

_______________________________ http://au.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080720202841AADXana.

I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.