What is your biggest life regret? Why? What would you do to amend that decision?

Other people said they wished they’d worked less to spend time with children, a parenting regret we heard with some frequency. The study is notable because past studies of regret have collected data primarily from college students and didn’t offer a look at regret among adults of varying backgrounds, education and experiences. Among college students, the biggest regrets tend to center around education, such as wishing that one had studied more or chosen a different major or career.

Participants in the newest study ranged in age from 19 to 103 and came from a variety of socioeconomic backgrounds. The findings showed that gender, age and education level all influence the types of regrets people feel. Women were far more likely to have romantic regrets, with 44 percent fretting about a lost love, while just 19 percent of men still had relationship regrets.

People who were not in a relationship were the most likely to cite a romantic regret. No pattern emerged on the reasons for regret. Just as many respondents expressed regret for something they had done as those who felt regret for something they had not done.

However, people whose regrets involved something they didn’t do or a missed opportunity were more likely to hold on to the regret over time. “The longer-ago regrets tend to focus on lost opportunities, things you could have done or should have done different,” said Dr. Roese. Regrets tended to follow traditional gender roles, with women expressing more regrets about relationships and family issues, whereas men tended to focus on issues involving education, career and money.

One in three men had regrets about work and career, compared with one in four women with similar regrets. Regrets also varied by level of education. Those with less education felt regretful for their lack of education, whereas those with more education were more likely to cite a career-related regret.

Dr. Roese notes that regret can be damaging to mental health when a person fixates or ruminates on the missed opportunity. However, regret, although painful, has the potential to refocus attention and improve decision making. “There are ways regret feels bad, but on average, regret is a helpful emotion,” said Dr. Roese.

“The most helpful way to experience regret is to feel it deeply, get over it quickly and move on and use it to push you to new behaviors that are going to be helpful.