What would you do if your boyfriend or husband just got up and left after your honeymoon or marriage without a word, phone call or letter?

Wow all kinds of judgmental answers here. I don't condone cheating, but you've been dealing with this for three years and cheating for six months. Rather than do the mature thing, you did the immature thing.

There's a lot of detail you leave out ... you mention she's been to therapy and you've both done counseling, but has she been put on medication for her depression? Losing a parent is rough for anyone, but I'm sorry, after three years should have found a way to move beyond it. She may never be the same, but at this point she really should have started to come out of the depressive state.

Unless you actually divorce her, I would recommend you stop the affair. Your wife has let herself go, so the most important relationship you have right now is the one with your son. 1) Staying together for the sake of the child never works.

I don't understand how parents delude themselves into thinking this is a good thing. If the relationship is bad your kid has picked up on it, and will grow up thinking he's responsible for your unhappiness. 2) If your son discovers your affair - or some future affair - in a couple years after he's old enough to realize what you're out doing, he will blame his mother's depression on you.

At the end of the day, there is no right or wrong here. Your father-in-law died nearly three years ago. I'm sure you were a lot more attentive the first couple of years, but at some point your wife has to find her way back.

There is only so much a spouse can do, there comes a point where we as individuals have to find our way beyond our grief and depression. And while I sympathize with her grief and depression - I've battled it myself - there is no way she can be an even remotely good parent in the state you describe. You have to do what is best for your son, and if that means filing for divorce and primary custody (based on her mental state) then that may be what you have to do.

Yes, you took a vow "for better or for worse," and right now is definitely the "for worse" part, but your wife took vows as well. Three years of depressive grief to the point of mental debilitation is unnatural. If she refuses to seek the help she needs you need to take action.

I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.