When someone has your plants for a month, and you never take them back... OK to take them back a year later?

I left the town and gave my plants to an aquaintance to look after them; and we've never brought them up into conversation again. It's been a year or two.Is it OK to take them back now? If she's taken care of them, they've probably grown quite a bit.

Asked by :-) 51 months ago Similar questions: plants month back year Home > Patio, Lawn & Garden.

This is funny. Look, I don't know you and I don't know your friend, so this is a very hard question to answer. I still wanted to take a stab at it though, mostly because it made me laugh inside.

How badly do you want them back? Do you know if they still have them? Are you close to this acquaintance?

How close are you to them? I’m just trying to think how they might react to the direct approach: “ remember those plants I asked you to hold on to almost TWO YEARS AGO? I’m ready to take them back now…” If you aren’t that close to them, is it possible they got rid of them a long time ago?

If it were me, and you didn’t come for them after the first promised month, and they were inconveniencing me in any way, I’d dump them. Plants just aren’t too high on the guilt level for me (I’d have a problem dumping an animal that was entrusted to me, but not a plant) and I think many people feel the same way. That’s one extreme, let’s visit the other.

Maybe they just LOVE plants, and it would break their heart to part with those plants you never came back for. They’ve had almost two years to bond with them. Don’t you think it would be a little harsh to go back for them after this long?

OK, now, it’s unlikely that these people are on the extreme like that, but here’s my advice: If you would be ok with getting new plants rather than the old ones, it would probably be best for everybody involved. If your acquaintance dumped them a year ago they would feel pretty bad if you called and asked about them. If they still have them for any reason, then it’s a gamble – unless you know these people pretty well, in which case you are the only one who could possibly know how they would react if you asked them to return the plants.

Now, last of all I’m going to assume that these plants are pretty important to you and you (as indicated, though lightly, in your question) still talk with this person from time to time (maybe a colleague at work? ). In that case, if I were you, I might try something like this: (Let’s say her name is Mary.) (Situation: a casual moment where nobody is really doing much of anything – small talk time.

) Me: “ how’s it been lately? ” Mary: “Oh, you know. Not bad.

” Me: “Do you remember a while ago when I left town for a while and left my plants with you? ” (Now, there are a lot of ways Mary could react to that question, and based on her response I would try to asses the situation. Does she still have them?

Does she have any negative feelings about me not getting them after a month like I said I would? Does she enjoy having them in her home? Would she mind my asking to have them back?

Let’s assume that she still has them, and you can’t tell how that makes her feel. ) Mary: “Oh, yeah. That was a while ago, wasn’t it?!?

I remember though. Didn’t you say you’d be picking them up after a month? ” Me: “Yeah, I’m really sorry about that.” (Make sure you tell her you’re sorry, even if you think she didn’t mind.

This is where you’ll figure out if it was an inconvenience for her or not. For our example, we’ll assume she’s not that inconvenienced, but…) Mary: “Yeah, I was wondering about that. What happened?

” Me: “Well, you know. Life got kind of crazy, and I didn’t even really think about it for a while, but when I finally realized what I had done, I felt bad. I hope I haven’t inconvenienced you any.

” (At this point, if she hasn’t already, she might tell you if she dumped them or not. If she still won’t say, you’ll have to bring it up, assuring her that you understand if she did get rid of them. Again, for our little example, we’ll just go with this:) Mary: “Nah, don’t worry about it.

They’ve added beauty to my home and kept my air cleaner. ” (In this scenario, Mary is a pretty nice gal, huh?) Me: “That’s great. I am sorry.

I was just thinking about it the other day.In fact, I was wondering if it would be ok for me to take them back off your hands. If you’ve really enjoyed having them in your house, perhaps I could make it up to you by buying you a plant as back payment for almost two years worth of plant-sitting…” Well, you see where I’m going, I hope. Just make sure you apologize and try to think about it from her point of view.As far as she knows, you could care less about those plants because you dumped them off with her and never came back for them.

Now, though, here you are wondering if you can have them back? You have to admit, it sounds a little crazy. Anyhow, good luck, and do let us know how it all turns out, I should like very much to know how this extremely interesting story is going to end!

Sources: My Imagination .

Probably not..... I did this once after leaving 1 plant with a (not close) friend for the summer.... Everyone thought I was awful for asking it back in the fall..... apparently, unless you specify the amount of time they can have it, and then follow up on it, you're regarded as somehow 'dishonest' (giving something, then taking it back). You can ask "how's the plant doing? ".

You can judge if he/ she is sincere in offering it back.

No, let it go! It's been too long! Maybe they all died and for the last year she’s been living in fear every time she speaks with you, dreading the day you’ll ask about them and she’ll have to ’fess up!

Naw! She’s probably quite attached to them by now. If she wanted to get rid of them, most likely she would’ve asked when you first came back if you still wanted them.

Since neither of you brought it up, and so much time has passed, I’d say they’re hers. I think I might be taken a little aback if I was your friend and you asked me. Of course, you could approach it sort of like, "I know it’s been forever, but you know what a flake I am!

Remember those plants I gave you to take care of for me? Do you still have them? Is there any chance I might get some of them back?

Or maybe I could get cuttings from them? " (Most houseplants can be "started" with slips; some may already have had babies. ) And then see what she says.

But if she wants to keep them, I wouldn’t get mad, ’cause I don’t think it’d be unreasonable after "a year or two. " .

1 She lived next door, and she LOVED my plants. She also owes me money. Not too much, about $40.

She lived next door, and she LOVED my plants. She also owes me money. Not too much, about $40.

Don't bring the money up - I'd just plan on making that a gift in the long run. Considering a friend or anybody else to be "in debt" to you for small quanitites of money like that, is very unhealthy for good relationships.

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