When you married your spouse, you were both healthy and vibrant. Now your spouse is ill and physically challenged. Stay or go? Why?

I would absolutely stay. First of all, I love my husband unconditionally, he's my partner and best friend. I wouldn't leave his side for anything, you couldn't drag me away.

Plus, I was raised watching my dad always take care of my mom, who is a Polio survivor. She's always been in a wheelchair, but as she's gotten older he physical limitations have really gotten worse (usually has to be lifted into the bathroom, naps 2-3 times a day, can't do laundry or vacuum anymore, has eight billion doctors appointments, etc. ). My dad is always right by her side.

Even when my sister and I are rolling our eyes at her and cracking jokes about her self-described suffering, my dad always stands by her and defends her. I would hope my husband would do the same, and I know I'd do it for him. And the most important thing I'd try to do for him?

Not let him sink into his own self-pity party. My mom is almost impossible to deal with nowadays because she's constantly harping on her suffering and calling herself a "victim of life's cruelness". I wouldn't let him go to that kind of miserable mental place that makes her depressed all the time, and makes others run screaming like hell from any conversation with her.

Don't every let your spirits get to a place where all you focus on is the negative. Between you and your spouse, always stay positive, and always love.

I would stay, as people age it becomes fairly likely that husband or wife may find themselves in this situation, the only difference I see here is that it happened unexpectedly soon. A marriage vow is not something to be entered into lightly and most vows have a line about staying together "In sickness and in health". The only way I would suggest leaving would be that if the agreement was entered into with the understanding that one or both partners could opt out due to illness.IE intentional changing to the vows, & a prenuptial agreement.

That's a tricky question! People who've never been dealt such a serious decision would make the 'right choice' when you pose that question. Personally, I don't know if I'd stay or go.

Life is short and I wouldn't want to resent the partner I'm now caring for because I'm pining for my old life. However, I would feel unbelievably shallow and superficial if I left, probably be plagued by guilt. I guess it would be which one of the above would be easier to live with, resentment vs guilt.

The short answer is we never know what we would do until we are in the situation. Intent - to stay - is a wonderful thing, it allow us to be righteous in our thoughts and possible future actions. Acting on our intention is something else altogether - In fact we often judge people who say they would go quiet harshly.

I would not judge the partner either way.

I think your reaction should depend on the way in which your relationship works. We all age, it's a normal process and it matters enormously to have someone who cares next to us.

A vow is a vow. Marriage vows as I understand them: "I will stay married to this guy in good times and in bad times, until death parts us. " I am thinking that if he became disabled, I would kick, scream, cry, and moan like a banshee.

Then after the shock, I would work myself into the ground, if needed, to provide and care for my family and him. I would not leave him, nor forsake him, because I made a promise. I don't promise anything lightly, and NO one should ever promise something that they aren't prepared to keep.

I believe in a judgment from God is mostly why. The other reason is love. Love is not just lust.It's an action.

I love my spouse and am committed to my promises to him that I made almost 17 years ago, and if we had been married only 1 year that vow would have been the same vow.

I don't blame you for second-guessing your situation. It's a natural human tendency, but do stay. A commitment is a commitment and it's no less a commitment when one is ill.

Stay!

" Think back: "For better or WORSE". Love knows no boundaries. These are words to ponder whether early in love or after sharing a long life together.

It would be nice if we could all remain healthy, vibrant and young forever. That's a fantasy.In reality, we age with each passing day and change with each passing moment. Change is not always positive.

Life is not always positive. If you are lucky enough to find love, you will learn that it's a full time goal to keep love. In unfortunate situations, it is often helpful to imagine how YOU would feel if you were the victim.

Turn the picture around. How would YOU want to be treated? I would want to be loved, "for better or worse, til death do us part".

I would want a "never ending" Love Story.

I would stay. I married my husband because I love him. I will do whatever it takes to keep us together.

I don't care if I have to be his caretaker. I married for richer or poorer for SICKNESS and for HEALTh till DEATH do us PART. I vowed to stay with him no matter what.

I don't think a health issue is a good reason to leave someone. You basically promised this person that no matter what happens you will stay with them. Again this is just my own opinion.

I have had some tough times with my spouse now but I would never want to be without him. We have only been married 14 years but I can hardly wait to see where the next 14 years takes us.

This is how I see it. It seems you either didn't know this person long enough or well enough before you decided to marry them and/or you didn't marry them because you truly loved them. IMOO , TRUE love means standing beside someone and loving them no matter what.

Because, if you did REALLY love them and REALLY know them well.... we wouldn't be here answering this question. This really has to do with how strong your morals, ethics, love, loyalty and honor to commitment are. Lastly I say.... put the shoe on the other foot.

If the roles were reversed... what would you think about him kicking YOU to the curb? If you don't really love him... then make it easy for him and let him go so he can find someone who truly does love him for the person he is NOW. He doesn't deserve to be with someone who will resent him for the rest of his life.

He needs someone who is selfLESS and it seems you're way more concerned with your happiness and what you "perceive" you're missing out on or going to miss out on. This is something that is beyond his control and should you really punish him for that? You made a commitment... FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE...IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH.

Unless he's deliberately done something to harm your marriage... I would suggest you honor your commitment. What if there were nothing wrong with him and you were planning a family and future and you got pregnant. You have the child and find out it has some serious physical or mental illness that will affect it for the rest of it's life and will need constant care... forever.

Would you abandon it because you could no longer have the future you wanted/expected? I don't see much difference in this situation.

I would stay it is not even a real question in my mind,being with the person you love should no matter what they look like or how they are!

I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.