I think more that they are embarrassed of themselves. They have so much fear from with in that they do not see how they are affecting those around them. They only know how they feel on the inside and don't really care about anyone else.
They want to follow "society's rules" by what they have set for themselves, but don't realize that rules are meant to be broken some times.
They feel that they must please those that are like them so that they may become a part or stay a part of their group. Its more often than not that they fear those that they are trying so desperately trying to impress. Its a defense mechanism inside of them that fears change, hope, love, and other things.
They don't know any other way.
If you want this person to be open about your friendship or relationship you have to show them that they have nothing to fear. You have to show them that they are worthy of anyone's love/friendship and that they have yours. You have to help them see that they are only damaging themselves by being so closed.
You may even have to show them that you are willing to fight for them and that they need to fight for themselves. They more than likely don't feel like an individual, but an outline of their other friends.
You also need to make sure this person is worth it, to be perfectly honest. You need to make sure that they are the one that is worthy of you. If you find that they are, then do what is necessary to take care of them and help them understand how you feel about the situation.
Because in some cases they may not even realize that they are doing it. Its something that you must make them aware of, and how it makes you feel.
Thank you for your answers! Good points.. Life is to be enjoyed especially with people that want to enjoy it with you.
That is a good question! I have one friend like that. He is a white male conservative.
He only seems to be relaxed when we are hidden. However, we when are out in the open and his other conservative friends see us, he gets nervous and shuts down. I know why that is, but, it doesn't bother me because he is my friend anyway.
He isn't as strong as I am to deal with the pressures of an inter-racial friendship.
He had better hurry and realize what is important to him because in a minute, I will find a better friend. One thing I believe is that if we are a secret then it cannot be true friendship. True friendship can overcome any barrier, be it, financial, racial, etc...
He knows he has a good friend in me and don't want to lose out. However, if he is ashamed or even embarrassed to be my friend, then he doesn't deserve my friendship.
I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.