You have a friend that has just lost her husband, how do you help rally people to help her and her children through this?

I would ask her what she thinks she needs right now. Maybe she doesn't need people around her all of the time, or lots of talking about it (or maybe she does), but I'd bet she could use some heat-and-eat meals so the family could have some home cooking without worrying about making dinner. Maybe she also needs some chores done, like some yard work, car repairs, or other things her husband was going to do.

If you get a little list going, maybe you could start calling some people and getting people to claim list items. You could have a cooking party at your house, get everything into containers, and then deliver food. You could offer to take the kids on an outing somewhere, etc.I think you can help out, while also giving them as much (or little) space as they need.

You want them to know that they are still loved, that you aren't going to avoid them because it's awkward to talk about the death, and that you will also respect what they need. I think it also helps to let them know that you're comfortable with being a sounding board. A lot of grieving people end up feeling isolated, because other people don't know what to say when they start talking about their dead loved one.

They end up not wanting to talk about them at all, and just grieve alone.

This situation would be a delicate one. I would never want to overstep my boundaries, but I would want to help them in any way I can. How I would gather other's to help, would depend on the families situation.

Was the husband the bread winner? If not, finances would be less of a concern than perhaps childcare, housekeeping or meals. I would offer to help with the house, and reach out to others for preparing meals for the family, or caring for the children while she worked.

If he was the bread winner, there are several factors that need to be considered. Did he have insurance, or estate? If so, perhaps finding an attorney that could help her make sense of things could be helpful.

Does she have no source for income? Ask local business to begin a collection. Talk with the pastor of their church, the community may be able to help with donations, or fundraising for the family.

If this was a close friend of mine, there is nothing I wouldn't do to help her and her family to recover from this kind of devastating event.

I'm not sure how much rallying I would do. Grief is a very personal thing, and all good intentions aside, you can't force someone to become happier or have less grief just because a ton of people descend on her doorstep. I would possibly get some people together to make some dinner dishes that will keep or have a rotation of dropping them off every few days.

This way she doesn't have to worry about some very basic things. If she is really lost when it comes to finances and there is someone who is good with them, then perhaps offering help there. She may require outside help (such as antidepressants) so you should keep an eye out for troubling behavior signs and suggest possibly a grief counsellor.

If this had been coming on for a long time, then she may have started grieving earlier. People with terminally ill spouses often do. However, if it was sudden, it may be a shock to the system that triggers PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder).

So, I think I would try to make myself as available as possible without becoming too burdensome. I know when my father died, which was sudden, my step-mother went into a sort of trance. She has very little recollection of the days and weeks following his death.

On the other hand, my sister's husband is in stage 4 cancer and getting worse it seems. She has started seeing a counsellor who has told her she has already started the grieving process. As for the kids, the school should be informed, especially their teachers and guidance counsellors because their trouble will manifest at school most likely (dropping grades, change in behavior) and the school can keep an eye on them and offer help as well.

I think mostly, everyone will need to work through it on their own, but not feel like they can't talk about the person as much as they want. There is no time limit on grief. Some people take much longer, if ever, to overcome.

Best of luck to your friend.

I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.