You have a good friend who regularly says things about herself that are very negative. What do you say to her?

Maybe you could do a little reverse psychology to get your point across. Ask your friend the following: Michy: "My friend,do you think I am a relatively smart woman? Friend: Of course Michy: And you know some of the folks I choose to be around - are they dumb, self-deprecating, ugly?

Friend: why, not - not at all Michy: Do you trust me and have I ever lied to you? Friend: No, I don't think so... Michy: Then why, if I am smart and only choose to be around friends who are bright and lovely - would I choose one that wasn't Friend: You don't have any friends like that... Michy: Actually, I do - you see - you are making yourself out to be that person and it is hurtful to me because I don't see you that way. I would never choose to be around someone negative, ugly, dumb, etc., and yet those are the names you call yourself.

Trust me when I tell you, friend, that you are every bit as wonderful as all my other friends and you're generous and you're caring and trust me when I tell you that because I'm your friend and you can believe me. " That way - you are saying things in a way where she may start looking at herself the way you and others see her and maybe will begin to feel more positive...although that comes from within - having positive feedback from a trusted friend always enhances the process and speeds it along! Your friend is lucky to have someone like you wanting the best for her!

You may be too nice to try this, but you could try agreeing with her. I did this with my wife's cooking, which is great (look how big I got). It bothers me that she constantly criticizes her own cooking.So one time she said something like "I think I left this in the oven too long, it's dry", and I responded, " now that you mention it, it's not very good at all".

Oh boy did I get a laser look, or as we call it "the pig eye". Later it was "I don't think I cooked this long enough". Again, I agreed, and more pig eye.

It wasn't long before she asked, "Alright, what's going on? You always complement my cooking" (and I do, at EVERY meal). I told her I was tired of complementing her cooking only to have her put herself down.

Guess what? Now when I complement the tender fresh corn and the delicious apple pie, she says 'thank you honey, it's nice to hear that you appreciate my cooking." I think we're both happier, but that pig eye was pretty intense.

Long story short, try agreeing with her, even if just for a second or two just to get her attention before you make another attempt at convincing her that she isn't stupid, at all, she's really pretty great. I'd say be patient and stick with it. She may be really insecure, or it may just be a bad habit that she can improve over time.

I suspect that showing exasperation or frustration may actually have the effect of reinforcing her low opinion of herself, but I'm no Dr. Phil, so I wouldn't bet the farm on that one. This video isn't too bad. youtube.com/watch?v=G2k4pxPp4og.

That's how I am...always have a negative issue with something...and I'm slowly starting to realize it bugs people. What my boyfriend had to do to make me realize it...was he would slowly start becoming negative..and I would catch him and tell him to knock it off...and he would say "Why? You do it all the time..." and that made something click in my head...Just a suggestion...Good luck :).

B positive...at least for one time in you r life. And see how life treats you ,and see what are better things you can see and feel ...

I would be straight forward with her. Negative self talk is not healthy and you want her to be healthy. Eventually she may begin to actually view herself as worthless or (insert adjective that she has used).

Negativity about oneself can lead to depression and other health problems. Tell her, that you realize it's just a bad habit now, but that she must work to change the way she talks about herself, inserting positive self talk. Or someday all her talk will become a self-fulfilling prophecy and others will begin to view her as she see's herself.

Adding that you care for her and that she deserves so much better than that. When you catch her making a negative comment about herself, bring it up and ask her to reframe it. "I'm so stupid, I've left my keys locked in the car" Should become something more realistic, " How frustrating, I've left my keys locked in the car".

I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.