Am I spoiling my daughter?

The next time she throws a fit, call the police. I don't think you even need to wait for her to throw a fit...go to the police station and ask about filing incorrigibility charges against her. Basically, it is illegal for her to be behaving this way.

I can't say exactly what is going to happen after you file charges. It might differ depending on what state you are in. It will probably be something like...she will have a court hearing and be assigned a social worker.

At the hearing she will be put on probation and assigned a juvenile probation officer. She will be given certain rules that must be followed when she is on probation. If she does not follow them, then she can be sentenced to some sort of treatment.

If there is a day treatment facility nearby, she may have to attend school there. Or, she may be sent away to a residential treatment facility. I work with troubled teenage girls at a residential treatment facility.

The facilities certainly don't work miracles. However, the important thing is that once you have pressed charges and she is in the system, then she should be sent away if she continues behaving poorly. If she successfully completes the treatment and gets to return home....if she goes back to her old ways, they will send her away again.

This will continue until she figures out that she needs to change...or she gets old enough for you to kick out. By the way, the length of stay at most treatment facilities are six months to a year...depending on how long it takes her to change. I am sure that probably sounds like a nice break to you :).

You might also want to read this book: The Parent's Handbook: Systematic Training for Effective Parenting You can buy it as amazon.com for about $10. It is easy to read. This is the book that my facility uses to train parents to manage their children better.

I know this must be so hard for you. Do not hesitate to contact the police. You deserve some real help.

You ought to sit down and talk to her about her problem (about the past) and tell her that you live by a set of rules like "straight people". Excuse me but, have you ever at anytime in your life been to a doctor yourself for some counseling over your personal matters of life, like after a divorce maybe or a DUI?.........I didn't think so. Here is what you need to do.

You and her both need now help. You the adult (in control) have to take her and sit her down with as many people present as possible and get her to talk about what she feels like and about the situation NOW verses the situation in the PAST and ask her to change. You need to do this on a weekly basis and tell her that this is going to be the case for the next few weeks or months until she feels different, because she is ruining your.......whatever....do you get what I am saying?

Group therapy works better, but, what can I say I can't see how bad your problem is from my PC.... No time to joke .......and it ALL takes time....spring, summer, fall. You know what I mean? ......I really wish you luck.

Sincerly yours (I wish you could pay me for this advice).

I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.