Anybody had any experience putting their aging parents into a retirement home? Share the good, the bad and the ugly with me. I'm facing this?

If you are home, have a reliable income that doesn't require you leave the house to work, and are emotionally and physically able to do so - your home might be the best place for her. It can be very rewarding to care for your loved ones but it is also demanding, difficult work. And, it has been my observation that your siblings are likely to think you are doing it all wrong.

If you HAVE to work outside the home and do not have a strong support system, then you are kidding yourself if you think your parent will be safe because you cross your fingers every time you go to work for a few hours and leave the phone within reach. You can hire aides and sitters,adult daycare, but in the US, that is private pay (not insurance). Even home health is approximately an hour a few days a week, depending upon the services your parent qualifies for (IF she does).

Then there are those who could stay home and not experience an economic tailspin - they don't HAVE TO work, but do because it is a career, part of their identity. If this describes you, then you have to weigh your parent's need against your need to maintain this career, achieve your own goals. If a nursing home is the most appropriate option, it doesn't mean you will never see her again.

You have some options in selecting a home. If you wait until the last minute (ready to discharge from a hospital) and the parent has Medicare (including supplements and replacements), your parent is going to have to go to first available in the area, but you can place her on waiting lists in preferred facilities. You can visit often - daily, weekly, make drop in visits to check care across the different shifts.