I have worked with people who had mental health problems and addictions on a voluntary basis. I used to drive them to hospital appointments, to be admitted and for therapy sessions. In the case of your unfortunate nephew, it certainly does sound as though he is using the drugs and alcohol to blot out his appalling childhood.
While I am sure that you and others are doing all you can, I'm not sure that anyone outside of a hospital is able to. From what you are saying he would need to be admitted and detained for a lengthy spell and I'm sure that this would be against his will. He needs supervised professional help and even then, there is no certainty that he would make a full recovery.It is are very sensible not to give him money, you are understandably very concerned about him but unless he is either willing, or forced to get inpatient treatment (in the U.
K it is called being detained under the mental health act) he will not be able to stop this course of self-destruction. I think there are probably a lot more reasons why people take drugs or alcohol. Sometimes it may be experimenting that has lead to an addiction or copying their peers.
I have known the most unlikely people from, on their own admission, fantastic families to become addicts. Their families of course suffer along with them. I hope that your nephew is able to accept that he needs help and is able to turn his life around.
It must be tough on your part to be helping out someone who seem not to care for himself for that matter. Drug and alcohol abuse in your nephew's case is used to escape reality. He was not able to process his past experience with his abusive parents since it happened when he was very young and it is usually very traumatic to a child to have that kind of experience to be able to come to terms with that.
I think he need some counseling to be able to be able to come to terms with this and move on with his life and to let go of his addiction to drugs and alcohol. Alcohol and drugs are substances that can temporarily alter a person's mood so in a way it helps him get away with issues like being depressed and sad. They used these substances to be able to cope because they think this will help them but they are not aware that this will lead them to more trouble.
Because this is not the appropriate way to solve problems. They are seeking to numb the pain that they feel instead of facing and working through those hard emotions. This will also hinder the maturation process because a person will fail to learn how to deal on life's terms.
Your nephew is not growing up instead he is getting high or drunk. Your nephew might be in denial that he has this issue and that his life is falling apart. He should be made aware that there are people like you and your parent-in-laws that are thereto support him.
But those risk factors really only talk about overall probabilities of whether young people with certain characteristics might be more or less prone to using drugs. Knowing about these risk factors can help keep a parent alert, but no set of risk factors determines that a particular child will use drugs, and many kids who have many of those risk factors don’t even try drugs. So parents really have to deal with the individual child’s situation and state of mind.
Research on the pathways to drug use and addiction suggests the immediate decision to use drugs is driven, basically, by one of two types of reasons. One group of young people seems to use drugs simply to feel good. They are seeking novelty or excitement, to have a good time.
These kids are the ones most likely to be responsive to prevention programming that educates about the harmful effects of drugs on their bodies, and are most influenced by the powerful protective factor of having strong and loving parents interested and involved in all aspects of their lives. These kids also seem to have the best chances of being successfully taught to seek alternative ways of having fun and to resist the temptation to seek novelty in drugs and other harmful ways. But there is also a second, very different group of young people who are using drugs for quite different, actually more intractable reasons.
These are kids who in some way or another are suffering and use drugs to try to make themselves feel better, or even normal. This group often includes people stuck in very difficult life situations - poverty or abusive families, for example. It also includes kids suffering from a variety of untreated mental disorders, like clinical depression, manic-depressive illness, panic disorders, schizophrenia.
Estimates are that as many as 10 million children and adolescents may suffer from emotional and psychiatric problems of such magnitude that their ability to function is compromised, and the majority of those kids are at extremely high risk of becoming addicted to drugs. These young people are not using drugs just to feel good. These children are actually trying to medicate themselves with drugs.
They use drugs because they think they will make them feel better, or normal, in the same way that other people might be given anti-depressants or anti-anxiety medications. The problem, of course, is that using illicit drugs is not an effective treatment. In addition to other, perhaps more obvious problems - like that their use interferes with normal functioning - this kind of drug use actually will ultimately make them feel worse, not better.
Medical research has shown clearly that this kind of drug use only exacerbates underlying psychological problems. Both the preventive and the treatment approaches for these “self-medicating” young people need to be quite different from the approaches one would use with novelty seekers or social users. For example, it can’t be very meaningful to warn people who feel terrible today that using drugs may alter their brains a month from now.
Their problem is getting through today. And encouragement to seealternative sources of fun or to seek nicer friends doesn’t seem very meaningful for them either. Again, they are trying to get through today’s issues.
Even the otherwise powerful protective factor of loving, supportive family involvement in the life of the child is not very effective in these areas. Those young people who are trying to self-medicate must have help with their underlying problems. They need professional treatment.
Whatever the reasons, how do you know if your children are using drugs and What do you do if they are? Telltale sign include recent mood and energy level changes, changes in eating habits, specific signs like redness around the eyes, and changes in social and educational performance. Listen carefully to what your children are telling you about their lives and how they feel.
I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.