Friend is cheating on husband w/ex-fiance. Yesterday I saw them together with 2 of her kids (at her home). What do I do?

You've already decided how you feel about it. That just leaves who do you explain your choices to. 1.

You need to tell her your decision and how you feel. 2. You need to tell other people that ask that you've been put in an uncomfortable position by this woman bad mouthing her husband that you're friends with so you've chosen to distance yourself from things until they straighten themselves out.

Also that you're not willing to go into any more detail about it - just as they'd not want you to do if they were going through things that needed time to resolve. 3. Stick to your principles.Be consistent and gentle but don't let people blame you.

Explain to your friend that if negative rumors start about YOU that you'll not hesitate to go public with the truth. She needs to work things out without dragging you down with her. Keep in mind that what you "know" is only what you've seen and you didn't actually "see" anyone engaged in adulterous acts.

So when you say you can't lie about it don't forget that when it's one persons word against another, the only thing you can HONESTLY attest to is limited to what you've actually witnessed. In summary, what you have to stand behind is your principle against one friend talking bad about another friend. Your impression of her fidelity is gossip and unworthy of your attention or time, even if how you feel about it is the "real" reason behind your issue.

Stick to facts, walk away from conclusions. Time will tell more than you ever could. But your stated reason for backing off should ONLY be your disapproval based on smack talk.

Wow thats tough. But what I would do, since you know 5 all good friends, I would pull her aside and have her talk really about what she's doing. I would definately do this.

Go out or something or maybe stay in somewhere alone, but you know casual. I would ask and totally confront her about why she's badmouthing her husband. Not mean, nothing but bold, make her say why.

You ask her do you really still love your ex? Are you willing to leave your husband for him? She is playing her life as a game, trying not lose.

The thing is you know what she's doing for her friends and ultimately for herself (justification as you say), but since you know deep down what's really going on and how she feels, you gotta bring THAT outta her and say what do you want? What do you Really want and she's gotta think, does she love her ex again and think it could work, she married the wrong guy? Or is it just excitement and lust.

Make her think, truly think, and say to her what your gut and conscience say, Is what you really know is right. 1. That she loves your ex and Know it will work.2.

That she knows her ex isnt going to be her husband, and will stop. I mean she's gotta do it. You are the one to get her, to Get her.

Ya kno? Put it out there for her to see. You can't stop a situation, but go to it's source and pull out the problem and get it realized so the situation gets solved by it's maker.

I understand why you don't want to be involved and why people here recommend that you don't become involved. That being said, she's drawing you in already. What I recommend is telling her that you want no part of this.

Tell her that you refuse to participate in a cover-up and hold further secrets. If she wants to lie to her husband, she'll need to lie to you as well. The only way to prevent you from talking is for you to never hear another word of it and to never get the impression that it's still going on.

This means that she'll be forced to act normally around your group of friends rather than badmouthing her husband. She'll also need to be home on time for her children, as you will not be harboring her kids so she can have an affair. Be as demanding as possible and tell her how obligated she is to put on a perfect show so that you never get suspicious.

Remind her of what's at stake and apply as much pressure as possible. If she can't take it, the only recourse is to end the affair.

First of all, kudos for laying some boundaries with her. You're correct that she had no right to drag you into this. Were it me, I would tell her flat out: "I didn't want to be a part of this, but you made me a part of it.

I will not go out of my way to reveal what I know, but if your husband asks me, I will tell him the complete truth. " As far as friends, I would say don't spread information, because it's going to get all twisted around, and it could come back to the husband that you're a gossip who was aiding in the deception (it could just come across that way). I would tell the friends something like "she is making decisions I don't agree with.

When she's ready to be open about her choices, I can be around her again. " You don't need to aid in the lie or hide the truth. If you let her know that her secret is NOT safe with you, maybe she'll actually confess to her husband.(Note: I am a firm believer that if sex is occurring, the cheated on partner should be told, because sleeping with a cheater could be a death sentence if they contract AIDS.

What you do is up to you, but if you know sex is happening, I would say she is endangering her husband's health, and that's not okay. In that situation, I would give a friend a "you tell him, or I will" ultimatum).

Well the first thing I would tell you to keep your mouth shut. You know that unless she's playing around with your husband, she is not involving you even though she is in a way. If she wants to talk about it, tell her you don't want to know about it because you don't want to be responsible for accidentally spilling the beans.As you get deeper in this with her, you will want to tell your husband about it.

(if you are close) and then there is another person that knows about it. Just stay out of it!

Nothing it is not your place to get involved in someone else's relationship if they're not cheating with your husband. No matter how it turns out you will be the bad guy.

I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.