How can I help my partner cope with cancer?

If your partner has cancer, be hands-on and participative when it comes to doctor appointments, treatments, and maintaining a healthy lifestyle. Take the lead in finding the best physicians -- and treatment -- for your partner, doing research, asking all the right questions, and helping to make and keep track of appointments. Encourage your partner to be honest about their symptoms and, if they won't, talk to their physician yourself.

Maintain patience, no matter how confused or helpless you feel. And above all, become an active participant in their care.

To help your partner cope with cancer diagnosis, help them regain a feeling of normalcy. Because of the loss of control they're experiencing, it can be beneficial to let them do as much for themselves as they can. They'll appreciate knowing that their cancer diagnosis has not robbed them of their independence.

Also, don't force them to talk about their feelings before they're ready, tell them to "cheer up!" (so annoying), or jump through hoops to entertain them. Just be there for them, and follow their cues. If they want to talk, listen.

If they crave alone time, do restrain yourself from hovering. Eventually, they will be ready to talk about their diagnosis and their symptoms, their feelings and -- in due time --your sex life! When they are, don't guide the conversation too much.

Ask lots of questions, and listen, listen, listen!

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