How do you tell a friend you told her so in a unhurtful way when she found her hubby cheating?
I think it only indulges your vanity, surely making you feel superior because your were right. But that "i told you so" reminder wouldn't make you a better person. Just my opinion.
Rarely does the messenger receive a "thank you" for telling a friend the love of their life is cheating on them. This is especially true if the couple is married. Knowing "the truth" puts the friend on the spot.
They either have run to the court house to file for divorce in order to appear "strong" or they have to deny it's happening in order to keep the dream alive. Give anyone a choice between believing a friend or their spouse...most people are going to give their mate the benefit of the doubt for as long as possible. The spouse has more influence or mind share.
All they have to say is the friend is "jealous" or never approved of the union to begin with....etcI suspect your friend clearly remembers you told her long before it was thrown in her face in such a way that it could no longer be denied. Since your question begins with "How do you tell a (friend).....etc" Probably the best thing you can do to put this behind you is (be her friend). Send her birthday/Christmas cards and other things that friends do during the course of the year.
I suspect one day she will confide in you on her own how she felt when you told her and she kicked herself for not wanting deal with it or believe it at the time. Once that happens you can open up about how hurt you were when....etc In order for her to be receptive she will have to open up first.
I think it would have been better to express how you really feel. That you're hurt because of everything that has happened. Being right or wrong is no issue when you're friends.
I'm sorry to see you lost a friend over it, but maybe there is a way to make things right. If the friendship meant a lot to you, why not try and fix it? Even if it's not your call to start a conversation.
I've learned over the years that friendships can have their second chance. If that doesn't work...the friendship is really gone. When time has passed, the tension isn't there anymore and it makes it easier to talk things over.
Good luck and I hope you'll get your friend back or that you'll find closure in a way....
I guess I shouldn't say told you so. I don't feel superior I guess a little bitter because when I told her she went behind my back and told him what I said and it started a confrontation between him and I. I should also add that her and I are no longer friends because her and her husband used me for money.
I guess I'm just hurt because I really considered her my friend untill she stabbed me in a back. Maybe this will show her that I wasn't lying to her or trying to start trouble I just didn't want to see her hurt and now the truth came out and she is hurt. Thanks for responding.
One way of handling it. Make sure you are right. If you have seen or heard first-hand (from the cheater or the person s/he is cheating with) then you have actual knowledge that something is going on.
Do not trust anything you get second-hand (someone else tells you about it). Find actual evidence or say nothing. Everyone makes mistakes.
Think about that twice, because for the sake of your friendship, you cannot afford to make even one when it comes to a situation like this. 2Record or take some snapshots of the action(s). You must have personal, incontrovertible proof of infidelity before you tell your friend anything.
If you see it with your own eyes, take a picture if you can. Discreetly use your mobile phone to record a video or to take a photo. If getting a video or a picture is very dangerous for you, then try the last solution which is voice recording.
Your mobile phone should have this application too. If all else fails, you may be able to capture a voice recording with your phone. 3Talk to your friend's partner.
Make the partner understand that you are aware of his or her actions, and you are ready to protect your friend. Tell the partner that you will give him or her until X-time (the time of your choosing, preferably within 24 hours) to confess to your friend, or that you will tell your friend. A relationship requires honesty.
Although you want to help, remember firstly this situation is between the two of them.
I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.
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