How does a husband not being ready for marriage, make your husband not love you?

Okay, first, you're 30 and about to have your first child...congratulations! Please tell me you are going to insist on child support from the father...i'm a guy, so don't think i'm some woman who wants to hammer here...but your child must be supported by HIM as well as by you, if for no other reason than that all of us must take responsibility for what we do...even if you don't need it, get it... as to your present relationship...hey, i've had four kids, and my sixth grandchild is almost here...any of us parents out here can tell you that kids are wonderful, but no matter how good they might be, they are way more than just a challenge...they are part and parcel to your life FOREVER... so it's my personal thing here...if I were you, i'd slam this door and never ever ever ever...NEVER EVER...get into this, not even for one more date...i'm sure he's really wonderful, all that...but if his kids do all this, and he not only condones it but enables it, it won't be just the 'family dates' that you have to deal with...you know, see them a few hours at a time and then blessed relief...oh no!...once the dates are over and the living together starts, THERE IS NO RELIEF... what there is, when that happens, is a constant source of conflict, bickering, fussing, argument, frustration, and painful bleeding off of the good times... you already don't agree on kids, diet, parent/child relationships...you name it...what in the world would make you think that a marriage certificate would somehow bring the two of you into harmony in all these things...last I checked, marriage certificates don't even mention children! Hey...sorry...you seem to indicate that in most ways you're pretty stable...but you're not going to convince this guy to change, you know...he's set the course for himself and his kids, and there is nothing but battle ahead for you...a battle you cannot and will not win...or even gain compromise that is any better than simply tolerating it all as well as bringing your child into a situation in which she will, of course, have 3 people showing her all the ways they do things compared to 1...you...giving her the alternative... who do you think is going to win there?

Again...it's your life...

It's not so much his kids being the dealbreaker, it's how he's choosing to raise them and that he thinks it's right is the dealbreaker. You won't be able to raise your daughter the way you want to raise your daughter while she's around those kids. She'll hit 16, 18, 24 months and know that they're being treated differently than her...that they're being allowed more sweets than her and she'll get jealous and throw tantrums and expect the same as them and you don't want her to have the same.

Of course, you'll be on your own in that because he thinks it's perfectly fine to give kids all the sugar under the sun. And kids learn from the people they're surrounded by. If these kids think it's alright to hit, your daughter will think it's alright to hit; if these kids think it's alright to talk back, then your daughter will think it's alright to talk back.

You two raise your kids completely different and it'll hurt the relationship when your daughter gets to be 1.5-2, when these things become more relevant for her. Either cut ties now, before you're driven up the wall insane...because let's face it, at 7 months along, you don't need stress. Or, talk to him about your concerns and see what he says.

He's rushing things, he's moving quickly. He may not think anything of you voicing your opinion in a non joking manner.

I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.