I am separated from my husband right now and he lives in an apartment. He calls me several times a day/night mostly to talk about what is?

I have to agree with quesera and silverhammer. He is using you while trying out his new life. My guess is, if he likes being on his own enough, then I see divorce in the future.

However, if he decides he doesn't like being on his own, then he will come back and expect you to have open arms. He wants it both ways - to have your support in everything he does and not to have any consequences in what he does. I think you have to stop taking his calls or talk to him every few days but certainly not every time he feels like calling.

If he wants to be on his own, then that means fending for himself in all things. If he needs friends to talk to, he should call those women that he likes to talk about. He is treating you like a friend that he thinks he can confide in.

The difference is that you are his wife, which while a friend, deserves more respect than what he is giving you. There need to be some boundaries set and you need to gain some control in the situation - limit his calls, limit some of the conversation to acceptable topics, and don't be his beck-and-call-girl. Good luck.

Just tell him flat out that you don't need to hear about his girlfriends and if it continues you'll hang up.

Yeah, make an excuse to get off the phone when he starts talking about his girl friend! I know, we're talking about girls who are friends, but it's still inappropriate for him to carry on like that and it seems to me he is trying to make you jealous and want him back. (I guess I'm just getting old.

I know that men and women can have platonic friendships but those relationships can wander into dangerous territory in one moment of weakness). Knock on the table and tell him your boyfriend is at the door. (Just kidding--maybe!) Don't let him manipulate you this way.

Limit your conversations with him to things that directly affect the both of you and your relationship. I'm not suggesting you be unfriendly, just set some limits.

Although he seems to swear up and down that they are just friends, talking about other women with you on the phone while you guys are legally still married (and likely still emotionally attached to a certain degree, I would guess, since you would otherwise likely not consider deciding between a potential divorce or working it out) is not only unacceptable, but also disrespectful and hurtful on his part. The talk about another person of the opposite sex may quickly evoke feelings of surprise, suspicion, and possibly even jealousy and is of poor taste if you are willing to listen to his feelings and what he has to talk about. He should not be wasting your time to talk about all his other friends during a phone call that is to be dedicated to talking to his wife.

On the other hand, it could be that he has already made his decision and moved on, seeing you as simply a friendly dumping bag of his thoughts and daily stories. If he feels comfortable relaying his daily experiences to you, great. But if you do not feel comfortable listening to them, then don’t!

Make up an excuse (if necessary) and end the call quickly as soon as the conversation drifts off into the curious territory of the unknown female friends. You should not have to spend your valuable time listening to things that other people who you may or may not know did or did not do that day. Surely he has some guy friends he can talk to about his women friends.

You do not have to be unfriendly, but simply make it clear (either directly by telling him straight out, or indirectly by ending the call every time he shifts the conversation to other women) that you are not willing to listen to his “exciting ventures�.

I would just plain tell him that you are not interested in what is going on in the other girls lives right now. If this continues, I would maybe not answer the phone eveytime he calls, and when he does talk about the two of you then it is time to go! Besides a grown man should know that jealousy gets you nowhere!

Good Luck to You flickr.com/photos/rimbaudian/123796229.

In your situation I would point out that staying in touch that much sort of defies the meaning of the word "separated". The reason you two aren't living together anymore is because spending time together wasn't working out. Just because he's moved out doesn't fix what was wrong and make you want to try and stay in touch all the time.

Explain that you need your time separate and he needs to respect that just as much as he expects you to respect his need for new friends. You're not his confidant anymore. He gave up that right when he left.

What's wrong is your desire/interest in listening. It's not healthy for you and ultimately not healthy for him. Either get back together or cut the cord and be willing to not remain intimate with him - even if it's just verbal.

If I had to guess I would say that your husband is a great manipulator. It sounds to me that he is calling you and telling you these things for a reaction. My next guess is that you are; indeed, filling that need with some type of reaction.

And so, the calls keep coming in. It's natural to be a bit jealous when a relationship first ends. It's understandable.

And even if you don't want to call it "jealousy" - you still don't want to hear of his extracurricular activities that no longer include you. When he calls again and starts talking about other women - indulge him in a fashion he doesn't want. Suggest that he should date one of the women.Do it as sincerely as you can muster and be as positive as you can about all the women he talks about.

Chance are, he'll be asking you about your social life. Politely tell him that you don't wish to be rude, but that you and he are no longer together and so it's really not his business. That should throw him for a loop.

One of two things are bound to happen after his tantrum is over... He will either stop his nonsense and stop calling you as much (or perhaps all together) or he'll be doing his best to end this separation and regain a relationship with you. You're in control - the art of manipulation can go both ways. Use it to your advantage.

Might I add that his "wanting to experience life by himself" was a cop out. No offense and not to hurt your feelings - but it's the whole "lets see other people" only he meant - only him. You're better than that.

Demand to be treated as you deserve to be -- demand your worth.

Ugh. "I don't want to be married to you, but I do want you to remain the emotional dumping ground for me. " No way!

I would just tell him "look, I do want to be friends, but this is too much! I don't talk to my other friends every day, and I just can't keep on giving you as much emotional time and energy as you want. I'm single, enjoying it, and moving on with my life!

We can chat, but not every day, and I frankly don't want to hear about your dating. That's my boundary. Respect it or I'll cut you off by hanging up."

Being friends doesn't mean someone gets to trample all over you, suck you dry, or make you feel bad. You get to decide the boundaries of all of your friendships, and they can either deal with it or leave. You're in a part of your life where it sounds like you need to make YOU much more important.

He seems to want you at his emotional beck and call, and that's a liberty you don't need to let him take. It sounds like it's time to cut the ties a bit more. He's dependent upon you, and that's not fair to you.

Pursue your own hobbies, spend time with other friends, do nice things for yourself, and when he calls, enforce your boundaries. If he can't accept them, only answer his calls once a week or so, and when he launches into the girlfriend stories, remind him that's not okay. Tell him about all the great things going on in your life, listen to him when he's respecting your boundaries, and help him to let go a bit.

I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.